Thursday, 1 December 2011

Minnie Moo the cat: How to master the drop & roll

How to drop and roll. Step 3 Roll Your Body Over.
I've been thinking about my time with Doctor Tigger and the lists I wrote on how to love myself and how to be more sticky. I've really taken everything to heart and have tried so hard to "to be the best cat possible." It's just well, I slip up every now and then especially when I get confused about what my lists really mean. A classic example happened this morning.

I was in a deep delicious sleep dreaming about lunch. I'd just finished a huge bowl of friskies washed down with a quick lap of shower water and off I trotted upstairs to take a cat nap. Plopping down I easily sunk into the big white plush fluffy sofa. The sunshine was streaming through the open window and the soft, gentle breeze cooled my luxurious gray, white, black with a hint of tan hair, this was the best dream ever!

All of a sudden a big voice screamed inside my head "YOU CAN NOT!" 

Still woozy from dream sleep I thought you can not what? Normally I know this as the naughty voice from one of my lists. It's the one that comes out to play to stop me from doing something good or having fun. I usually take no notice and just say to myself "yes I can" and go and do my good/fun stuff.

This time though I got it all muddled as basically the "you can not" voice was trying to tell my internal alarm clock "you can not go off at 3am, it's way too early." And as I usually ignore the you can not voice, I said "thank you Mr Alarm Clock, you know what, you can go off, after-all it's already 3am." Precisely at the moment my alarm sounded, cock-a-doodle-do, yep my alarm sounds like a rooster.

I left dream-town, woke up properly, stretched and was out of bed ready to start my day at oh around 3:02am. Now where was everybody? 

It's boring being by yourself at that hour so I went to wake up M. I play this game where I sit close to her face and stare really hard willing her to wake up. It works every time. I usually follow this with loads of cat-chatter which sounds a little like "moow, meoow, maw, mah, meeow." Either way every sound starts with the letter M.

Speaking of which M was up! Time to play. Let's start with running up and down the stairs, followed by the drop and roll against all the closed doors of the house.

If you haven't mastered the drop and roll, here's 6 quick easy steps for you to learn:  
  1. Collapse all four legs
  2. Drop to the floor
  3. Roll your body over
  4. Hit the door (don't knock your head against the door, it hurts a little)
  5. Roll back
  6. Repeat steps 3 to 5
Apparently the knocking bumping noise wakes up the whole house. Oops. 

I couldn't figure why I found myself plonked outside.

So I snooped around the neighbourhood hoping to find something to do or eat. It was dead quiet all I could hear was the distant sweet sounds of the early morning zzzzzzzzzz's. There was no action anywhere and feeling a little bored and sleepy I headed home for more friskies and a snooze.

What! All the doors were closed, locked even! Now M hasn't put in one of those teeny tiny cat doors yet and if a window open is left open all the other cats will just come in (totally uninvited) and eat my friskies! Especially that pesky Miss Tilly.

So I did what I do best. Heading to the main bedroom outside door with its huge long windows I stretched up with my front paws and started a tap, tap, tapping rhythm (boy I can never spell that word) on the window followed by a couple of drop and rolls. 

I could tell M was grumpy, she didn't even say "hell-lo" when I wandered in through the now opened door. I vaguely heard this little voice inside my head say "Minnie Moo you're not going to be very popular today." And, sure enough I wasn't.

Thinking back to my list, there would be no "pat on the back" for me nor would I be able to think "of any of my good bits." Note to self, getting up at 3am and waking sleeping peeps is not considered a good bit. It's the 3am isn't it? Hey I'm not the only one who gets up early, I've heard Simon's cat is an early riser too.

I think the best thing for me is to wind my internal alarm clock forward a little, perhaps set it to the later time of 4:45am? That's reasonable right?

One thing's for sure I'm going to write a new list on 5 things to do when you're awake and everyone else is sleeping. 

On a positive note, friskies taste best at 3am.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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