Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Minnie Moo 5 easy steps how to love myself

Here's me thinking of my good bits
Yesterday I was super busy writing a list on how to make myself more sticky, basically that's code for how to get a little closer to peeps and things. If you missed it or want a refresh you can read it here.

Queen Oprah was still on the telly throne when I was having my therapy sessions with Doctor Tigger. Some days I'd catch her shows and come away feeling really inspired and motivated to go out and be the best cat possible. Let's just say I'm still a work in progress!

I know what you're all thinking, ha ha very funny, you're a cat you can't understand what Oprah's saying on the telly! Not true I say. Besides doesn't everyone in the the whole wide world understand the universal language that is Oprah? Just thought I'd pause and share this gem.   

Ok I'm going off topic again, I promised I'd write a list on how to love myself and well, here it is....

Minnie Moo's steps to love myself:

Think of all my good bits - Like I'm generous, I mean I let a hedgehog eat my friskies. Hmmmm, what else?

Say "well done" me - When I've done something good or something nice I'll give myself a pat on the back and say "well done". But it's got to be in my mind right? If I give myself an actual pat on the back, I'd fall over. Funny that I'm trying to think of something good, eeek.....can't think, can't think. Nope I've got nothing.

Say "yes I can" - Sometimes when I go to do something this little voice inside my head screams "YOU CAN NOT" I've got to learn to answer back and say firmly but quietly "yes I can". No need for capitals.

Look in the mirror - Repeat after me, "I'm Minnie Moo and I'm a fantastic cat. Today is going to be a great and I'm going to be kind and not so grumpy." By the way, Mr and Ms Wiki Answers told me that when us cats look into a mirror we see another cat but as they're not smelly we quickly loose interest. Well for me I alway check myself in the mirror, what if I went outside with friskie coated whiskers?

Try not to mix up love with friskies - Oh this is tough. To me love is a bowl of friskies however Doctor Tigger said "you can love to eat a bowl of friskies but love is the super-food of the universe." WOW I really need to crack this thing called love.

What do you think? I really think this "loving myself" thing has some legs. So now its up to me to do as I write and as you peeps say, "actions speak louder than words."

Here goes. First I'm just going to say "well done me" for writing 2 lists and then I'm going to sit in front of my friskie bowl and say, "yes I can". Eat.

Cheeky but genius! That's 2 things scratched off this list!

Like I say, I'm a W.I.P (work in progress)

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: I love telling tails! If you love cats or are at least amused by us please follow my blog http://minniemoothecat.blogspot.com

Minnie Moo makes a how to be more sticky list

OK I'm inching a little closer
During my last session with Doctor Tigger I had a little break-through, apparently I'm like teflon, nothing sticks to me. Not love, not peeps, not well anything.

Side note here. Now if you're not up with play you must think, wow that's one sad cat. I'm not!  It's just that back in 2009 I moved house and met my neighbour, Doctor Tigger.  He's a big red cat and is a phsyco-ologist (he reads minds too). Anyway he helped me work through some stuff to find the key to unlock me.

I was a bit baffled by the notion that nothing sticks to me, did I need to go out and roll around in double-sided sticky tape? Did I need to beat an egg with a little water and flour and pour it over me so I was one big sticky gooey mess?

Somehow I thought no this isn't what Doctor Tigger meant. 

I was determined to take the first steps to find out what I needed to do to make me more sticky. I was really going to have to dig deep and search all the way to the tippy point of my tail to find my how-to starting point. On top of that too I was told it was really important to love myself.

To tell you the truth I didn't know what it all meant or where to start. All I knew was I didn't feel comfortable asking M to put up a whole lot of extra mirrors for me to stare into and say "I love me". No, that just didn't sit right. What to do?

So I thought I'd write a list of the top 5 things I needed to do to make me sticky and steps to take to well, love myself. To be honest I'm a little bit shy about all of this stuff but anyway here goes, this is what I came up with.

Minnie Moo's "how to be more sticky" list:
  • Try to get a little closer - Next time I'm sprawled out on the carpet I won't hog the edge. I'll try to move a few inches closer towards the peeps. Everyday I'll gain an inch.
  • Accept a hug - When M hugs me, she says "Minnie Moo you're so wooden. It's like hugging a tree. Trunk." I'll try to relax a little more. Ok I said try!
  • Change at least one habit - Like if there's a door open upstairs and I'm downstairs, rather than make a lot of noise for someone to come down and open the door.  I'll head up and out the door. Easy, M will love me. 
  • Live in the moment - Try not to talk too much about how I was left alone to live on the streets surviving on a diet of tomato, mozzarella and salami pizza. Ahh ok I get it. There I go again. 
  • Sit on a lap - OOOH no! This is going to be really tough, peeps love it when us cats curl up and get all snuggly. For me it's a great spot for watching telly but its really not what I do. OK I'll try - 5 minutes every other night.
Tomorrow, I'll show you my list on how to well love myself. 

Guess I better "Live in the moment" and eat friskies, oh and I'll "try to get a little closer" to the bowl. Genius that's two things checked off the list!

Paws up any other cats in the blogosphere who make lists? Let me know.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

PS: I love telling tails! If you love cats or are at least amused by us please follow my blog http://minniemoothecat.blogspot.com  

Monday, 28 November 2011

Minnie Moo another session with Dr Tigger

Leaving Doctor Tigger's office
My next appointment with Doctor Tigger was a little easier partly because I wasn't so nervous and also because my eyes and nose didn't leak so much. You see I'd never cried before and I thought my internal tap had sprung a leak! Phew thank goodness I didn't need to call in the cat-plumber!

There I was again under M's alien space ship crouched down low with Doctor Tigger asking me all sorts of questions about myself and what went on in my life before I met M and well took over hers.

He's trying to search for the key to unlock me.

"So Son, last week we talked about some big things that happened in your life leaving you feeling a little unsure about yourself. From such a young age peeps have just up and left, leaving you homeless and alone. All I can say is thank goodness you found the pink pizza palace at least you had food and pizza boxes to sleep in."

"This was way too much change for anyone to cope with, let alone a young little cat. As we like to say the rug was pulled out right from under your feet," said Doctor Tigger in his low talking yet strangely deep voice.

Even though I couldn't remember the rug my mind drifted back to this time and although I was really lonely I did get a little pudgy from eating too much pizza.

"I think, said the good Doctor, this has left you feeling suspicious of getting too attached. You feel that if you let anyone or anything get too close they'll leave you. These hurtful memories left you with tiny but deep scars."

Hmmm I thought as I looked closely at the bits of me I could see, nope I couldn't see any scars.  

Then he did it again, he read my mind. 

"No I don't mean actual scars that you can see, it's like someone has caused you pain and you're hurt and wounded. Over time you heal but you're left with scars. You can still see them, they're a reminder of pain."

This seemed to ring true gosh even the big mean Hawk bird tried to hurt me. So that's why I like to feel like I'm part of the action but yet always remain on the outside, keeping a safe distance - if you get what I mean.

"Exactly, said Doctor Tigger, you're just like Teflon nothing sticks to you."

Excuse me, but what does Teflon mean? "Well think of yourself like a non-stick frying pan or iron, they're perfect because with teflon nothing sticks making them perfect for cooking or your clothes." Right I thought even though it sounded kind of odd.

"Minnie Moo we have to work together to help you understand that if you can love yourself first you'll be able to cope with all the other stuff. At the end of the day you'll know that whatever life dishes out you'll always have yourself. And, look how far you've come. You're a survivor."

"Yes I am Doctor Tigger." 

On that note my appointment drew to a close. As I opened that door (that wasn't really there) and stepped out into the morning sunshine I thought to myself even though it's weird that I've been likened to a frypan and iron, I kind of get it.  

I've got to find a way to make love stick. After all I've done it with friskies. Right?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: I met Max today. He's a schnauzer (try spelling that) from the big city with a nifty haircut. Even though he's a dog and I'm a cat, I think we could be friends. It's early days but it looks promising. Hopefully he'll follow my blog too.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Minnie Moo's first appointment with Dr Tigger

Zonked. Sleeping after seeing Doctor Tigger
This morning I had my first "session" with Doctor Tigger.  Now if I say it like that it sounds all super formal and stiff. How about, this morning I had my first sesh with Dr Tigs?" Better? Or does he sound like a gangsta rapper? 

My inside alarm clock, literally I have a little bell that rings inside my tummy, went ding-a-ling at 5.25am. I was up and in front of my friskie bowl by 5.25:15secs. If that! After a quick chomp I jumped out the loo window and arrived at my appointment with a couple of minutes to spare. 

Nervously I sat in the waiting room.  Well as Doctor Tigger's office is located under M's blue alien space ship, his waiting room is let's just say a little exposed basically I was sitting alone on the drive-way for all the world to see.

It was during this time that I started to doubt myself. Did I really want to find the key to unlock me? What is it that I'm really searching for? I've got M's life and friskies, what more do I need? Nerves got the better of me and just as I was about to stand up to make a silent exit, Doctor Tigger opened the door and said "Well, Good Morning Son, come in."

Now, I'm still not quite sure why he calls me Son?

I secretly thought "darn it, there's no escaping now!" as I stepped from the safety of keeping my thoughts inside my head into the zone of the brainy mind reader with the a super long title, Doctor Tigger Pschyo-ologist.

"Please sit down," said the Doctor indicating to a lovely red chair.  Well let's say its an imaginary chair and this was the scene that was playing out inside my head. You see it was a little awkward as his office space is really low and we both had to crouch down to make sure we didn't bonk our heads on the bottom of the alien space ship.

I made my self comfortable on the not-really-there red chair.

"So Minnie Moo, you've told me that you wish to see me to find the key to unlock who you really are and to find out what it is that makes you feel a little uncomfortable in your own skin."

"Yes, that's right." I whispered.

"As this is your first time, we're going to start with taking a little walk down memory lane." 


"From what I understand when you were really little you went from living in a lovely home with all the comforts you could every wish for to, all of a sudden finding yourself alone and without a home, everything that you knew and loved was no longer there for you. This must have been really sad and scary."

Nodding my head, I managed to say "mmmmmmmmm"

"Not knowing what to do you went into survival mode and went in search of food and somewhere warm to sleep. It was then that you stumbled upon a pink pizza palace. This seemed like a great place for you to hang around; free food to eat and pizza boxes to sleep in."

"This pink pizza palace became your new home of sorts, it was your own comfort zone and as long as you hid in the bushes, under the stairs or behind the shed, you weren't spotted by peeps. But as I understand you did make friends with a couple who made sure you got enough pizza with tomato, mozzarella and salami."

Licking my lips, I said "yes sometimes I still dream in pizza."

"Then one day, even though you were still really little, you felt strong and brave enough to venture out to walk all the way to the green field. Just as you were enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, a big Hawk bird almost managed to swoop you away to never-to-be-seen-again land."

Stopping to pause for a dramatic moment he said, "How are you feeling Minnie Moo, this may be a little upsetting for you."

Yes as my eyes became a little watery and my nose started to dribble...I wasn't sure what was happening.

"It's ok to cry, here have a tissue." 

Oh so I was crying, right, now what do I do with a tissue? So I pretended to dab my eyes and blow my nose.

"Minnie Moo it seems that from such a young age you've had to be so strong and rely on you for food and shelter. Despite how you're feeling on the inside, you've put on a brave face and made the best out of sometimes bad situations.  Plus every though you were really little you had such a good sense of what's right and wrong. Look how you stood up to that bully Hawk? Yet deep down Minnie Moo all you really need, well all you were really needing was. Love."

OMG! I was really crying now.

"So Minnie Moo, we're going to find out what makes you so special and lovable.  Before long you'll understand that love means more than just a bowl of friskies." 

What? Through my tears and running nose I managed to say, "Doctor Tigger, it's never just a bowl of friskies."

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: I've made my follow up appointment for next week and meanwhile I'm going to ask Mrs Google about Love. 

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Minnie Moo shares some stuff

An out-of-focus me nervous before my appointment with Dr Tigger 
I'm still only young(ish) and already I've come across some interesting characters.  They all add a little something special to my life and at times I learn really valuable lessons that I take home with me to type into my super cute i-pad.

Sometimes on a boring old rainy day I'll read them again to give me that extra jolt of inspiration to be the best Minnie Moo cat that I can be. 

Like Young Spike the hedgehog, this was painful but easy peasy. Don't touch hedgehogs. Ever.

When I came face to beak with Mr Hawk I realised that size doesn't matter, if you're small(ish) like me or look a little different like the cat, Mr Pirate, who lives down the road and has a patch over his eye, it's ok to stand up to a bully and it's never ok to be mean. Imagine if I didn't Mr Hawk would've swooped me up and had me for his yummy breakfast!

Even my ex neighbour taught me about different eating habits and perhaps it was here I learnt the most valuable yet incredibly selfish lesson of all "if another cat doesn't eat friskies there's more for me!"  

The old lawyer who offered us corned beef for dinner, ha ha, I can now say confidently it's not half corn half cow! But remember I was nervous that being a lawyer he'd send us an invoice for his time and probably charge us for the meat too!

When I was living at Kingsgate it dawned on me that even though I was really happy now that I'd taken over M's life and had learnt lots of amazing things, I was still having trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin, some piece of my puzzle was missing. 

I decided I needed to talk this out. I made to an appointment to see Doctor Tigger the pschyo-ologist.

With his office conveniently located right outside my front door, its underneath M's blue alien space ship. I made a knocking gesture with my paw and had to listen hard to hear his "come in" (remember he's a low talker), opening the door that wasn't really there I stepped in and said "I'd like to make an appointment to find the key to unlock me". 

He said, "Son I'll see you tomorrow at 5.30am." 

I'm like 5.30am are you for real? That's super early! He replied, you know what they say "the early bird catches the worm" and "let's make hay while the sun shines."

Well I didn't quite understand all that, you see I don't like worms and am allergic to hay, it makes my eyes puffy and I come over all sneezy and wheezy.

Ah well I made a note to set my inside alarm clock to 5.25am that'll give me a good few minutes to have a healthy breakfast, friskies and a minute or so to jump out the loo window, head around the corner and down the path ready to meet with Doctor Tigger.

Now you couldn't do that in the big smoke, you'd get stuck in traffic.

Anyway take these home with you. Gems from me, Minnie Moo:
  • Don't touch hedgehogs
  • Size doesn't matter and it's ok to stand up to meanies
  • If you don't like friskies, great, there's more for me
  • Lawyers love invoices
Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: I wish I was a Lawyer, I could say "Your Honour I Object! and send an invoice!"
PPS: Thanks for reading and following me. For more tails go to www.minniemoothecat.blogspot.com

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Minnie Moo vs a prickly hedgehog

What? There's a hedgehog in my friskie bowl
All this talk about Mr Hawk has got me thinking about my time at Kingsgate and the first time I got myself into a real prickly situation, I met a hedgehog.

For those of you who've never met one of these prickly balls with tiny legs and short wet noses (scratch that I mean snouts), they're exactly that, round and prickly. I've got to say though they're sneaky, despite the sticky up prickles they're super cute.

Anyway because I was spending more time outside M put an extra bowl of friskies on the porch for me.  

Naturally I thought this was a great idea. Now if I had a snack attack I wouldn't have to make the dodgy leap up through the bathroom window I could simply walk onto the porch to refuel at my outdoor friskie station! 

What I didn't anticipate was the unwritten law of nature that reads something along the lines of...
Any type of food left outside is communal for all creatures, big, small, 2, 4 legs, wings or not to dine "al fresco" (that's how Italian cats say outdoors). No invitation required.
Well late one warmish evening I was inside and heard this strange noise coming from outside near the porch. I'd never heard anything like it....snort, grunt, snort, snort, grunt, grunt, sniff, snort, grunt, wheeze. I thought "wow a little piglet must have fallen asleep outside on our porch and is snoring really loudly."  

Just in case we were in danger, I decided to go out, investigate and check everything was A-OK. Secretly I was thinking "if anyone's messing with my friskies, there's going to be trouble."

Luckily the big sliding door was open and I didn't have to master an Olympic gymnastics move to get out of the window before long I was on the porch. Well blow me down standing there almost knee-deep in my bowl was one spiky brown ball snorting away and hoovering up all of my friskies.  

I'd never seen anything like it before!

Feeling brave and just a tad curious I got up close and stretched my paw out to touch. Thinking that the spiky bits were well un-spiky, soft and bouncy yikes, no, ouch! Prickly! I felt like I had walked on millions of grass prickles!

M came outside to see what was going on. Imagine her surprise to see me hopping around me-oow-ing at the top of voice with a rolled up spiky ball inside my friskie bowl!
"So Minnie Moo I see you got a little too close to a Hedgehog! Bad timing! They only come out at night and as you've just felt are covered in prickly spines this is their way of protecting themselves. They love insects but cat and dog food is sometimes on the menu too!"
Rubbing my paw I thought well thanks for the nature lesson M but couldn't you have told me earlier? Anyway I gingerly took a few steps back and waited for "Young Spike" to uncurl and head on home. I couldn't believe that once he was back on his little feet he kept on eating...cheeky sod!

Eventually he slowly climbed out of the bowl and took tiny little steps back to the hedge all the while making those familiar but strange snorting noises. Ahhh the penny dropped inside my head, so that's why they're called hedgehogs!

The first thing that I did was go head-first into my bowl to reclaim my friskies.  I didn't even care that I was getting hedgehog germs!

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: Thanks for reading my tails (scratch that I mean blogs) feel free to share my life stories and you can follow me here www.minniemoothecat.blogspot.com Love MMx

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Minnie Moo stands up to Mr Hawk

Standing up to Mr Hawk
That darn Hawk is still haunting me. It's now been over two years since I left my home in Kingsgate but I still feel like that big giant of a bird (I call him the Prince of Darkness) is still circling somewhere close by ready to swoop and scare the living daylights out of me. 

Just in case you think I'm crazy when I was living there I developed a "lounge phobia" I was really scared of the lounge room.  I was so sure a Hawk hung from its ceiling, M tried so many times to convince me it was the ceiling fan but my gut instinct told me otherwise.

I've been digging deep trying to recall why Hawk's send me into such a spin. Was it because they're descendant from Dinosaurs? That peeps call them birds of prey? Or that something disturbing has happened involving me and a Hawk? That's it! Something scary's gone down and it's time to tell the story. 

I was only a little tiger (ok a 6 month old cat) it was a beautiful day and I was out and about exploring the wonders of the world. There I was in a field with only lots of green grass for me to play in. One minute I was walking, jumping and generally acting like a big kid the next I was well frozen on the spot, funny that how can you freeze when the sun's out?  

In the distance I heard a sound whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh, it sent a chill down my spine. Huge wings were moving in harmony flying through the air then soaring high as the currents took them up into the clouds. For a moment I was spell-bound by this air poetry that is until I cottoned on this gi-normous bird was making a beeline straight towards me. It's curved creepy claws already out ready to snatch me away to never-to-be-seen-again land. 

It was the eyes that truly alarmed me, bright and piercing they were completely focused on me. A chill descended as did the Hawk.

Still frozen I started to shake too and my 4 little legs were trembling so hard I thought, oh no, any minute now I'm going to fall over. Before I knew it I was face to beak with the Prince of Darkness who was eye-balling me with his hawk-like stare.  
"You look delicious enough to eat", he said in a voice that was like molasses, deep, dark, thick and surprising a little sticky. 
I don't know what came over me but all of a sudden I felt this strange sensation it was as if my entire little boy cat body was transforming into a big strong cat ready to take on the menacing power of the Hawk.
"Stop! I know who you are and you're not going to eat me! I'm only 6 months old. Give me a break! So far my life hasn't been a bunch of roses, I'm living on the streets and eating pizzas all the time, mainly tomato, mozzarella and salami. One day I'm going to be even more special than the little cat I am today, I'm even going to have a name".
I stood taller and my voice grew louder as I shouted, "Go Away, Leave Me Alone. I'm little and you're just being a mean old big bird bully".
Incredibly he seemed to shrink right before my very eyes, his head drooped as his body flopped down to the ground.  
"You're right little one, I'm a bully and I'm getting tired of being so  nasty. I guess it's just what I do. I'm a Hawk and all day we fly around looking for yummy things to eat. We don't ask we take", he said in a sad run down voice.  
"Today you've shown me that it doesn't matter what size you are it's not ok to be bullied. I mean sure I'd love to eat you, I love pizza, but I'm not going to have take-away today, I'm going to leave you in peace.  In fact from now on I'm going to hang up my bully wings and only eat left-overs". 
Amazingly then he flew off leaving behind the Prince of Darkness and taking with him a new title the King of left-overs. You know what, bully's never win and thank goodness I found M and friskies.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS I'd love you to read more about my tails, oops I mean tales www.minniemoothecat.blogspot.com

Monday, 21 November 2011

Minnie Moo is it a ceiling fan, is it a Hawk

Do you think anyone can see me?  
Slowly but surely I adapted to my new home. 

One morning, a few days after our move M started chatting to me telling me all about our new street. Could you believe it our new street was called Kingsgate. Well I got really excited by this piece of news. Did it mean we were living next to a Royal King with a gate? 

This didn't sound right to me as my sources (the telly) had told me that there is a lady called the Queen, she's stonkingly rich, doesn't pay taxes, loves horses and mini-dogs who lives miles away in a rainy place called England. 

I didn't think she'd mind if I upgraded myself from being common Minnie Moo to King Minnie Moo, residence Kingsgate.  How very posh. 

From spending time staring out the window I noticed our new neighbours all spent a lot of time at home, working the gardens and mowing lawns.  They weren't like the people from my old place who every morning drove off in their alien space ships to go to this dreaded place called work.  

M said something like they all don't work anymore, they're what we call retired.  Ah, I thought that explains why they all look similar, especially the hair colour and drive teeny tiny noddy cars. They were a friendly bunch though at our old place no one "popped" over imagine the surprise on M's face when early one evening she heard a knock on the door.   

One of our new (but he's old) neighbours dropped by to ask M to dinner. His wife had cooked corned beef and there was plenty to share.

I thought wow what a lovely gesture but it also struck me as being a little odd.  What did corned beef mean?  Was it a half-half like me, I'm Minnie Moo, half mouse, half cow.  Imagine being half corn, half beef.  Not matter how much I tried I just couldn't stretch my imagination that far.

Anyway M was really touched to be invited but said she couldn't make it. Apparently M doesn't eat cows.  She's a vegetarian, oohh, I started to fret a little, do they eat friskies? 

Relieved I thought no peeps can't eat my fave food group. I remembered one day I got up really close to the bright yellow box of goodies and started reading all of the letters and words. It took me a while to decipher the code but one line stood out.  
"Not intended for human consumption. In cat speak - for us cats only, peeps don't even think about it".
Being the nosy thing that I am I hovered around the door to get a glimpse of our new neighbour. He was just lovely, a real gentleman. When I later found out that back in the day he "practiced law" I thought no wonder you're so nice. You're going bill us for your time and we'll probably have to pay for the corned beef too, I'd heard this is what those lawyers do!

This whole episode of coming to the front door was a brand new experience for me so far I'd only spent time in the bedroom, bathroom and practising jumping in an out of the window, it's above the loo and requires a few tricky precise moves (I don't want wet feet, eek).

Anyway here I was all the way done the other end of the house. I thought   be brave, explore, have a little look-y around the room M calls the "lounge".

Being ever so cautious I looked left, then right and repeated this step half a dozen times while slowly inching my way inside the room.  At the same time my head was bobbing up and down looking for any signs of danger. 

I froze. Standing dead still I was on high alert. Inside my head the alarm bells were going crazy, DANGER, WARNING, DANGER!!! This was code red. 

I was exposed with no protection while above me lurked a true prince of darkness.  I hunched down really low and remained as still as a mime artiste holding a pose. Hopefully no-one could see my insides were jingling. There I was trapped in the middle of the lounge. Above me circled my arch-enemy, Mr Hawk.

This was my worst nightmare and a flood of bad memories washed by me of days gone by where I was almost plucked from my hiding spot by one of these huge flying birds of prey. They're descendants from Dinosaurs and they're always on the look out for something to eat!

Terrified as I was, confusion lingered, what was a hawk doing hanging from the ceiling of the lounge? I'd only ever seen them outside in the big wide wilderness soaring high above ready to swoop in and pluck you away with their huge-mung-gous claws and take you to never-to-be-seen-again land.  

M saw my look and was also confused, she said something like "Minnie Moo what are you doing? Why are you crouched down and looking so afraid"?  All I could do was answer with an upward glance, my eyeballs nervously trailed up towards the ceiling.
"Oh Minnie Moo, that's just the ceiling fan, it makes a little whoop-whoop sound and keeps us all cool on these hot sunny days.  It's ok, it's not going to hurt you and it's definitely not a mean bird."
Unconvinced I crouched down lower. As much as I wanted to believe M my insides were screaming out "get down, get out of the way, Hawk, Hawk, Hawk".

All I could do was slowly reverse out of the room and slink all the way back to my comforting bowl of friskies but I was shaking so much my teeth rattled and I couldn't eat a thing.

To this very day I swear on hundreds and thousands of friskie boxes that the lounge at Kingsgate was a very dangerous room where Mr Hawk posed as a ceiling fan....

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

Friday, 18 November 2011

Minnie Moo the outside inside cat

Exhausted after so much action.  Sleep tight.
Oh the dilemma of moving house continues. There I was outside from inside my new home and I'd just had my first encounter with a cat pschyo-ologist, Dr Tigger. I still can't believe that big red fluff ball is a mind reader luckily I've made a mental note that whenever he's around I'm going think about absolutely nothing.  Nada.

So there I was in a real pickle, and btw (by-the-way) I don't like pickles at all, not the American ones, the German ones or pickles dressed up as gherkins!  They're all the same, salty green lumpy things. Funny but pickles kind of look like really tiny baby crocodiles.  EEK no wonder I don't like them!

Ok back to my current situation in my burst of self confidence I'd managed to find the courage to get myself out of the house by jumping thru an open window. It's just above the loo. But now I was outside I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get back inside.

As I sat on the path and stared up at the open window it dawned on me that as the window opened out it was going to be much harder for me to leap up onto the ledge. The open space looks tight (my belly seems wide) and the actual window was in the way!  

If I jumped with too much energy I ran the risk of flying through the window and landing in the loo, if I didn't judge the distance between the window and the ledge properly I'd knock myself out and end up flat on my back with my legs sticking up in the air and I might add, a very sore head.

This business of the window and how to get back inside was driving me nuts (mmm would I like them?). It was like doing rocket science sums no wonder I couldn't figure it out.

Maybe M would be kind enough to think about placing a little ladder under the window that way I could master a very classy way of getting in and out and not worry about all of these complications.

Just as I was about to shift myself onto my back legs ready to attempt my first jump I had a brainwave.  Yes, Yes, Yes.  Boy it was so obvious, why didn't I just do what I did at the other house? Find something that looks like a door and sit in front of it, stare really hard until M felt like someone was watching her, I was, then she'd have to get up to open the door?

Genius! Standing up I did a little jumpy turn to the left and walked a cool 30 paces up the path and before I knew it I was in door nirvana. Could you believe it, before me stood 2 huge-mung-gous sliding doors. 

But just as I thought all my Christmas's had come at once, M was already at the door, I simply had to walk in! Plus M said really nice things to me.
"Hi Minnie Moo it's good to see you're out from under the bed and you're such a clever boy! You've found your own way in and out of your new house."
For me there was no time for chit-chat but not wanting to be not nice (that's the opposite of nice right?) I said a "quick hi and sorry I can't stop" before I engaged my freakish superpower, my nose, to sniff out the friskies. Keep in mind that I'd never been in this part of the house before and my GPS wasn't working......

Ok so straight up for 10 steps turn right 11 steps over tiles, through the door, turn right 15 steps on carpet, out another door, turn right again, 20 steps straight down before making a right turn, 17 steps over brown(ish) carpet then a final right turn and a quick 2 and a half steps over green tiles.

Jackpot! Friskies galore! Yes M I am. I'm a very clever boy. Indeed.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Minne Moo and the mind reader

I have a sneaky suspicion someone is reading my mind
From what I could see the big red fluff ball was at least a whole head taller than me and almost three times wider than me. He was well let just say, impressive. Earlier I felt like I'd been a little bit rude, I was totally unprepared to meet anyone as I was still getting over the excitement of having left my under the bed possie.

Anyway the first words to my new neighbour of "don't even think about eating my friskies" just flew out of my mouth and made me sound like some of my cat buddies from back on mean street.  Why couldn't I manage a polite, "hello, I'm Minnie Moo your new neighbour."

So thinking fast and being just a little bit in awe of his incredible size, I quickly recovered and said, "As you can tell I love friskies, perhaps I'm even a tad obsessed by them! I'm sure you eat them in this neighbourhood too?" 

Well I was quite surprised by his response.

Firstly his voice was surprisingly deep but really quiet, he almost whispered. I once watched a Seinfeld episode on the telly with the "low-talker". It was very funny but anyway I had to turn up my internal volume control to hear him say...

"Well son (wait I'm his son?), I'm so pleased to meet you and you'll be in fine company here as some in the neighbourhood feast night and day on friskies. I myself prefer a diet of fish and steak."

I almost fell off my legs wow I'd never met a non-friskie-eater surely he sneaks a sneaky one every now and then. Besides I couldn't imagine having to catch a fish and cow to eat everyday.  Sounds like way too much work! 

Was he reading my mind or something as then big red fluff ball gaffauwed (laughed out loud) before politely correcting me "don't worry I'm not a hunter and gatherer I have a personal shopper." Ah I thought he must have someone just like M.

By the way I'm pretty certain I'm not his son we just don't look a-like.

Then he said, "well it's been nice to meet you and by the way I'm Doctor Tigger a Professor of the Mind, Psychologist is another name for it. I'm also a trained Therapist. Many of my patients are from this area." 

A what? Did he say he's a psycho with an ologist? I wasn't sure but either way I was desperate to impress and sound brainy but before I could stop I heard myself saying "well Doctor Tigger, I'm Minnie Moo and I'm a Professor of Friskies, if I was any other animal I'd be a little pig!"

And on that note I walked away with my head held high but with the sneaky suspicion that the Doctor was indeed reading my mind.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: This was back in 2009 - I still see Doctor Tigger regularly but that's a whole other story.  

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Minnie Moo the cat meets Mr New Neighbour

My relieved and happy face

Gosh looking back I can't believe that I spent 2,880 seconds under the bed. I swear that's the longest I've ever gone without eating friskies or well let's just put it politely "relieving myself". 

Well that was back in 2009 and I'd just gone through the turmoil of my first house move. Boy did it play havoc with my routine! I knew I'd moved but my mind was still wired as if I was in the other house. I needed the time under the bed to re-wire my automatic pilot otherwise I'd be walking into doors and windows that aren't there!

Eventually I felt less wobbly, it was time to suss out the lay of the land. Plus I really needed to eat more friskies and use the loo.

Ever so cautiously I made my way out from under the bed. It was weird as for some reason I couldn't keep my head still, it kept bobbing up and down and switching from side to side. Silly as it sounds I really thought heebie-geebies were going to fall down from the ceiling and squash me.

My imagination was playing tricks on me it turned out my trip to my bowl of goodies was actually quite boring. Just lots of brown(ish) carpet. But boy did the friskies taste delicious.

By that time the call of nature was well calling me really loudly. I needed to get outside. Pronto. I was in a little sticky situation tho' as I didn't complete my to-do-list and hadn't figured out where my nearest exits were.  

Luck was on my side as I looked up I spied an open window sitting above well you wouldn't guess it the seat with the big white bowl (peep speak for loo).  Doubly lucky the seat was down providing a perfect take-off platform in one-two-three jumps I was outside. 

There was no time for me to enjoy my back garden. I made a bee-line for the shade of a beautiful fruity mandarin tree and let nature takes its course.

Relieved and happy I took a moment to reflect on how far I'd come transforming from a scaredy cat under the bed to one brave enough to venture out into his new world.

Yet I had the feeling that a pair of eyes were on me....turning my head to the left there he was that big red fluff ball was staring right at me. I had officially met my new neighbour.

All I could think of saying was "don't even think about eating my friskies."

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo


Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Minnie Moo the cat 2,880 seconds later is still under the bed

I'm still thinking about coming out from under the bed

Two days later I'm still under the bed, can you believe that's a whole 2,880 seconds without friskies or using the lcr (little cats room). Imagine that!

Anyway hunger was knocking at my imaginary door and I knew that another day without my primary food group would be too much besides I was sure I was having early onset friskie separation anxiety.  

I thought about all the things I needed to do to make my new home my home but I must've been a little foggy from no food I couldn't think straight. So before I completely conked out I got to work and wrote a to-do-list of the top things to do to make me feel good and at home.

  • Get out from under the bed 
  • Find my bowl of friskies
  • Eat friskies slowly so I don't feel full too soon
  • Eat more friskies to top up my energy level 
  • Locate the shower to rehydrate (yummy soapy shampooy water)
  • Slurp said water slowly
  • Mentally check out the carpet (must not scratch, must not claw)
  • Suss out every single room, sniff and rub my scent on corners
  • Find the nearest exits (hmmm that window about the loo looks dodgy)

Wow that's some list and I was still inside! 

First steps first, get out from under the bed.  So I did that and made a Usain Bolt dash to my bowl of friskies, in a word yum. The shower was close by and I managed a quick slurp. Then for some reason I chickened out and I slowly slunk back to my under the bed comfty zone.

It was getting late anyway and I figured out that my to-do list doesn't spell to-day list. Tomorrow was going to be ok too.  

One thing is for certain friskies aren't going to come to me, I have to go to them.  Another thing - I will most certainly go to them! 100% true.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo