|Leaving Doctor Tigger's office|
My next appointment with Doctor Tigger was a little easier partly because I wasn't so nervous and also because my eyes and nose didn't leak so much. You see I'd never cried before and I thought my internal tap had sprung a leak! Phew thank goodness I didn't need to call in the cat-plumber!
There I was again under M's alien space ship crouched down low with Doctor Tigger asking me all sorts of questions about myself and what went on in my life before I met M and well took over hers.
He's trying to search for the key to unlock me.
"So Son, last week we talked about some big things that happened in your life leaving you feeling a little unsure about yourself. From such a young age peeps have just up and left, leaving you homeless and alone. All I can say is thank goodness you found the pink pizza palace at least you had food and pizza boxes to sleep in."
"This was way too much change for anyone to cope with, let alone a young little cat. As we like to say the rug was pulled out right from under your feet," said Doctor Tigger in his low talking yet strangely deep voice.
Even though I couldn't remember the rug my mind drifted back to this time and although I was really lonely I did get a little pudgy from eating too much pizza.
"I think, said the good Doctor, this has left you feeling suspicious of getting too attached. You feel that if you let anyone or anything get too close they'll leave you. These hurtful memories left you with tiny but deep scars."
Hmmm I thought as I looked closely at the bits of me I could see, nope I couldn't see any scars.
Then he did it again, he read my mind.
"No I don't mean actual scars that you can see, it's like someone has caused you pain and you're hurt and wounded. Over time you heal but you're left with scars. You can still see them, they're a reminder of pain."
This seemed to ring true gosh even the big mean Hawk bird tried to hurt me. So that's why I like to feel like I'm part of the action but yet always remain on the outside, keeping a safe distance - if you get what I mean.
"Exactly, said Doctor Tigger, you're just like Teflon nothing sticks to you."
Excuse me, but what does Teflon mean? "Well think of yourself like a non-stick frying pan or iron, they're perfect because with teflon nothing sticks making them perfect for cooking or your clothes." Right I thought even though it sounded kind of odd.
"Minnie Moo we have to work together to help you understand that if you can love yourself first you'll be able to cope with all the other stuff. At the end of the day you'll know that whatever life dishes out you'll always have yourself. And, look how far you've come. You're a survivor."
"Yes I am Doctor Tigger."
On that note my appointment drew to a close. As I opened that door (that wasn't really there) and stepped out into the morning sunshine I thought to myself even though it's weird that I've been likened to a frypan and iron, I kind of get it.
I've got to find a way to make love stick. After all I've done it with friskies. Right?
Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: I met Max today. He's a schnauzer (try spelling that) from the big city with a nifty haircut. Even though he's a dog and I'm a cat, I think we could be friends. It's early days but it looks promising. Hopefully he'll follow my blog too.