|This is what I look like when I think of Mr Grump|
It was a beautiful day and I decided to get some exercise and go for a walk to soak up the outdoors and get a little fresh air.
Making sure I had enough energy supplies, I carbo-loaded eating my way through a whole bowl of Friskies. I didn't want to get thirsty and as water is so good for you too, I lapped up some left-over shower water. I know this sounds really strange and icky but I'm really fussy about the water I drink and I do like the soapy, shampoo-y taste of shower water.
Venturing out of the house, I turned left making my way up the street, it was early and little tin lids (kids) with huge back packs with legs covered in school socks and shoes were walking to school. Finally I was in the clear and ready to cross the road to get to the other side.
Checking that there were no scary cars coming, boy those things move quickly, I remembered what to do when crossing a road and looked left then right, then right then left again. It was safe and I ran really fast across the road taking a running leap to jump the fence, hurtle down the hill, sprint across the bowling green, leap more fences and hedges before stopping to catch my breath under the shade of a really old and super tall oak tree.
Sitting high up in the tree were loads of birds enjoying what seemed to be a family reunion. A mixed bunch, speckled, black, brown little ones, and some with funny spiky hair cuts all chattering and chirping at the same time. My natural instinct is to chase "pesky" birds but as it was such a nice day and they all seemed to be enjoying a great party together there was no way I was going to spoil it for them.
Moving from under the oak tree, I headed North towards the place I was going to visit, the green hills covered with white fluffy dots.
Almost there I still had to cross some pretty dangerous land, lots of private backyards patrolled by cats and dogs. Phew I was chased by quite a few cats and growled at by some rather large looking four legged monsters with lots of teeth, floppy ears and gi-normous tails.
It wasn't easy but I had finally made it to the green hills covered with white fluffy dots. Only when I got closer all the little dots were huge (compared to me), really woolly, ate so much grass and talked to each other in a strange language sounding like mmmmmmmmmaaaaaahhhhhh.
Curious I made my way closer and closer (carefully avoiding their little black droppings) there was lots of them. I was so close I could smell the wool and hear the chomp, chomp, chomping of the grass. I was plucking up the courage to say "hey, how you doing? I'm Minnie Moo a cat and I'd like to make friends with ewe."
Out of all the sheep to make friends with, and by the way they all look the same I picked the most grumpy one. He must have eaten some seriously bad grass and had gas or something either way he didn't seem that happy to see me. Impossible but true.
Just as I was about to introduce myself nicely, Mr Grump quickly turned around and gave me a hi-5 kick with his back leg! This was nothing like the fun hi-5's I do with my buddies. Luckily I was fast enough to dodge the kick, but no sooner was I out of the way he spun around and did the same thing with his other leg. What was his problem?
I wasn't so quick that time and caught the end of his kick in my side. Lucky I had my furry coat on to protect me, there was no scratch only I could feel a nasty little bruise coming.
I still had to walk home and this time there would be no heroic leaping of fences or running from unfriendly cats and dogs the best I could do was put one paw in front of the other and slowly but surely limp home.
As day turned to night I kept moving forward and thinking of the sweet comforts of home, eating a bowl of fresh friskies and sleeping for a really long time on my cashmere blanket.
After what seemed like hours and hours and even more hours, I heard a voice in the distance calling " Minnie, here Minnie, Mins come home now, come on Minnie Boy. Minnie Moo where are you, come home Mins." M was calling out for me. Buoyed by this sweet sound (and the vision of friskies) I pushed through the pain knowing that if I followed the voice home was not far away.
I made it. I was home, safe and sound.
Even though I was dog-tired (now that's a strange saying) and sore I mustered up just enough energy to say hi to M, eat a bowl of friskies, lap a little shower water before falling into a deep sleep on my blanket.
After sleeping the whole night and most of the day I woke up and wondered if it was all just a dream.... but the memory of the woolly Mr Grump and his crazy kick was still fresh in my mind as was the bruise too, it was purple and my side was a little lumpier than usual.
Days later when I had recovered from my ordeal and was back to my normal self I was telling the story of my adventure to my buddies and can you believe it, they told me that there's more sheep in New Zealand than there is people or cats for that matter, there's millions gazillions of woolly grumps out there!
I decided that from now on it was best for me to stay a "city cat" and not venture too far away from the things I know and love, my home comforts.
The great thing about us cats is that we have an uncanny knack to heal ourselves quickly all we need is a little peace & quiet and sleep. A bowl of friskies helps too.
Yours in Friskies Minnie Moo
(based on a true(ish) story)