Friday, 30 December 2011

Minnie Moo The End of Year Melon-Cauli Blues

Oh dear today I woke up feeling the all-over-melon-cauli blues. I don't quite know why I'm feeling so down in the dumps. Maybe it's because I feel like this year has whizzed by so quickly, it's almost like I was too afraid to blink in case I missed it all.

Or perhaps the moody yuck gray sky that's crying big ploppy tears is wrapping itself around me like a wet blanket. I just feel ick. It doesn't help too that the air is like syrup all sticky and humid. The one good thing? At least my hair still looks ok. Some cats wage a war on humidity as it turns the sleekist most lush hair into a crazy frizzy birds nest. 

I thought some fresh air would do me the world of good. Off outside I went to mozzy around and attempt a half-hearted neighbourhood patrol. Everything was so peaceful and quiet, I guess everyone's still away on vacation. I did hear Munchkin the jumping dog is taking a beach holiday for a couple of weeks that could be why it's a little quieter, no yap, yap, yapping.

Ms Miley was out and about but she had nothing new to say and didn't seem interested in stopping for a quick cat-chat. Even her magical green eyes were a little less sparkly. But I think that was just me. Everything I could see was tinged in blue.

Heading back home my head drooped lower and lower as my mood stooped lower and lower. Sitting outside my door I could hardly wait for M to let me in. All I could think of was a nice comforting bowl of friskies and a calming cat-nap to lift my spirits.

Once inside I had a quick munch before finding myself a nice snooze spot on the never-before-tried-out nice clean black sofa bed. Oh boy, I was thinking I really should move M's going to be peeved, a black canvas and white cat hair makes for a sticky furry situation. Ah well at the moment that "issue" was just not in my picture frame I had more pressing things on my mind.

Settling down I slowly nodded off while thinking about how to get to the bottom of my bucket of blues to find out why I was feeling just so, so. 

Thinking back, yesterday I wrote down a list of my New Year Resolutions nothing fancy just to eat more Friskies, nap more and talk to Miss Tilly. This list was backed up by M's heavy-weight punching bag of things for me to do. I just still couldn't take this resolution stuff seriously. As if I'd really knowingly try to give-up something. That's like gobble-dee-gook to me.

However the one thing in common on both of the lists, Minnie Moo to talk to Miss Tilly stood out like mega-watt bright neon lights against a dark night sky. 

Here I was all dressed up in a full suit of cattitude armour with the steely resolve to diss the list thinking pigs might fly before I take up any of those resolutions.

It wasn't long before my armour washed away and I started to crumble as a "reality check" thought popped into my head ready to rain on my already damp parade. 

"If both lists say to talk to Miss Tilly with my current way of anti-resolution thinking wouldn't I then have to twist that around to mean Minnie Moo don't talk to Miss Tilly?"

No wonder I was feeling the cat-blues. The thought of not talking to Miss Tilly sent me spiraling down into a pit of blah-sadness. On top of this my pre-Christmas plan to lay-low and avoid Miss Tilly was back-firing on me. Here I was trying to give a wide berth to the one cat that turns me into a blubbery-jibbery mess and instead of feeling happy and relieved I was forlorn and still feeling well all blubbery and jibbery. 

I was a mess.

Deep down I knew Miss Tilly was slowly sailing her boat into my harbour.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: Miss Tilly doesn't really have a boat and I don't like water. I'm trying to be all mushy. Please follow more of my tails!

Thursday, 29 December 2011

Minnie Moo's New Years Resolutions

Reading the Cat Tails Daily on my i-pad the count-down shows it's only 3 sleeps until next year. A-mazing. Well I've always known that I'm special but now I know I'm extra special, why you may ask? Because I live in boo-ti-full Noo Zilind (my kiwi accent spelling) and everyday our little country with just over 4 million peeps and 70 million sheep is the first place in the whole wide world to wake up, see the sun and say well, good morning to you Sunshine! 

It's taking me a while to wrap my super handsome furry head around this fact (switch that and you've got f-cat) as my Dutch cat-cou-sins all sleep at night at the same time I'm wide awake and enjoying my day. Plus when I'm hot and lazing about in the sunshine they're all bundled up in winter coats. It's strange to me because we all come from the same-one-world but yet everything seems to be so opposite.

This confuses me a little so I'm going to take some time and check in with Mrs Google about this phenomenon and see what she has to say about it. 

Here in the land of the long white cloud it's rather sticky and warm. Summer can be up and down with one day all toasty and the next old man southerly blows in along with big plopping rain drops. 

But for the past few days the weather's been behaving itself and everything just seems so perky, extra bright, chirpy and well early. Now as you know I'm not quiet about my early morning starts but sometimes early can be way too early. At this time of year it seems that as soon as I shut my eyes for some shut eye before I know it I'm wide awake with daylight peaking through the curtains. 

If I'm struggling with the early mornings you can only imagine how M is when she wakes for "door duty." Let me just say she doesn't say anything, not a peep, but her body language and facial expressions speak volumes. 

Let's see, this all happens at around 4am-ish, give or take a few minutes. By the time I'm back in the house at around 6ish I'm totally wiped-out and ready for a delicious catch-up snooze. Poor M she has to get up go for a run and head out to work.

Anyway back to celebrating New Year it's just not to big a deal for us cats. Firstly those sparkly-arkly things that explode bits in the sky go-off with a bang and scare the living daylights out of us. Secondly there's the added pressure of making and perhaps more importantly sticking to New Years resolutions.

At the end of the day too time just rolls over for us cats and we keep track of things from two reliable sources; our tummies and by our internal alarm clock. Both are always accurate and pretty much tell us all we need to know. It's a little hard to describe so if you can imagine a big round clock for cats with proper numbers or one of those funky digital types the numbers would simply read: Eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, go outside, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, come inside. 

Now let's get back to those resolution thingy's. To tell you the truth the real reason we tend to fall asleep and by-pass New Year is that darn word, resolution. I mean I can just spell it let alone say it. Just image making promises to give up things, no! We're just not wired that way, our DNA screams take with lashings of more, more more!

Imagine M writing my New Years resolutions list:
  • Eat less friskies
  • Eat more so-fish-e-kated food
  • Learn to love fish row - opps roe
  • Drink more water 
  • Stop scratching the under-belly of the lounge
  • Stop scratching the carpet
  • Open my own doors
  • Sleep less
  • Sit on laps
  • Let peeps hug me
  • Be nice even when I don't want food
  • Talk to Miss Tilly

Ha ha! Really? The chances of me sticking to this list well I might as well say "hey all see you later I'm off to go climb Mouth Everest" ri-donk-u-lis. Pigs might fly first. Ok! So that you don't think I'm one old-stick-in-the-mud sourpuss I'm going to keep in the spirit of the holidays and go out on a limb, hows this for a proposal..... 

How about I make some sort of cat-promise? You know it's a lot like a compromise but for cats only? How about I spend some time seriously thinking about me seriously doing what's on "that" list. Seriously? 

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: Follow my cat blog for more crazy tails
Happy New Year!

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Minnie Moo wraps up Christmas

What Christmas is over? Why am I upside down?
Wow I'm a little upside down happy with a touch of sad and a whole lot of zonked. Christmas is over for another year and my emotions are all mixed up as it was just all too exciting. So much yummy food, extra-special helpings of holiday friskies, a small but still fantastical Christmas Tree, wrapping paper galore, a visit from Santa and thankfully no sign of Miss Tilly. 

With all the comings and going I got myself into a real tizz thinking about everything in the end I got so dizzy I almost fell over.

To sort me out I took a calming power cat-nap. Thank goodness Christmas and all the trimmings is only once a year. Imagine if it was every other week I'd be a gi-nor-mously jibbery wreck and a tad huge from eating all the left-overs.

Did I mention that in the end I decided not to build a chimney for Santa? I just ran out of time, tools and materials plus my D.I.Y are well let's just say I'm not a handy-cat. I thought too in today's modern world surely Santa knows how to use a front door? 

I tried to stay up late for Santa but it was just gone midnight when my eyelids drooped heavy with sleep and it wasn't long before I drifted off into the land of nod. Sometime after this Santa must have snuck in leaving behind a box of friskies and a cute note written in tiny elf writing saying how much he enjoyed his treats especially the bubbly water. 

I know I was super-lucky to receive a box of friskies they are without a doubt hands down my favourite thing in a the whole-wide-world. But I was just a smidgen peeved I missed out of getting my other wish. A full-time door opener. Now M's great but hey a change is as they say as good as a holiday.

I was ultra happy the reindeer didn't leave any stinky-pong-y North Pole surprises.

Anyway earlier that day I'd finished a quick pre-holiday neighbourhood patrol. Wandering around I could easily see there was nothing going on except that Miss Tilly and Ms Miley's new lawns had transformed from sad brown to a delicious green grassy wonderland. I stopped to think they'll now need to bring in the a la natural lawnmowers? Watch out if they do! Take in you laundry! Sheep love a snack of freshly washed air-dried clothes.

Given there wasn't much going on I cut my patrol short and headed home. I couldn't believe it M had turned into another version of herself. The bossy breeze had blown in sweeping M along and spitting Ms Bossy Britches out the other end. The annual Catmas-Eve-Cat-tail-Party, aka Christmas Eve Cocktail Party was on that night and M had put herself and others into the time pressure cooker.

Funny though in all of the kitchen kommotion (I've been watching the Kardashians) the one thing I noticed was the smell of peaches. I could see M was whizzing them in the super-scary blender making a goo-ey yellow fruity mush for the drinks. Just the smell alone brought me back to a day I got lost and found myself wandering dazed and confused in an orchard of peach trees. Walking I kept bumping into the low-hanging furry fruit and every time I nudged a peach I got the all over goose-bumps, just like chicken skin. This really confuses me you know as much as I love my own furry self furry peaches well they just make my skin crawl. I must remember to talk to Doctor Tigger about this.

Anyway the party got underway and from what I could see everyone was in a great mood and really lapping up the holiday spirit. The youngish ones started playing this fun-as game but the weird thing was instead of them all sitting on the furniture they opted for the floor. I think this was out of respect for me after-all the lounges are "technically" my patch. 

The game was quite easy to follow and went like this. Write down the name of a famous person, thing or object on one of those cute post-it notes. Then choose one, stick it on your forehead and guess who you are. Heaps of clues are given. I was so sure Minnie Moo would be boldly stuck on someone's forehead. But no. I'm just too hard to guess. Right?

It got me thinking if I had a "stickie" stuck between my ears I hope it would read Kardashian Kat. Do you think they have a Kat? I could audition right? I'd have to be tough though and negotiate Friskies into my contract.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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Friday, 23 December 2011

Minnie Moo Happy Holidays!

Thank You!
Woohoo it's the holidays! Christmas is only 2 sleeps away. 

I still can't quite believe Mr Santa Claws and his reindeer are able to fly in a sleigh loaded with gifts-galore all the way from the North Pole to Noo-Zilind. It's almost too good too be true.

So Santa's goodies are ready and nicely set out. Boy I hope he likes bubbly water and friskies. I'll leave a bowl of nutmeg-spiced cream on the side too. Well if he doesn't quite like my choices or is "watching his food intake" I'm sure it won't go wasted :)

Today's tail is really short not like mine which is quite David Crockett-ish you know a little stripey and long. 

Anyway I really wanted to take the time from my busy eating, napping and neighbourhood patrol schedule to say a gi-nor-mas thank you for reading, following and well, hopefully loving the tails I share about my crazy yet totally lovable life.

Be safe, warm, happy and at peace during these holidays. Eat lots and nap. Some say pace yourself. I say go for it and enjoy everything with gusto!

So before I sign-off to whisk up a friskie-inspired holiday treat here's 4 of my Christmas blogs to read for the first time or, to love again.

Minnie Moo's Letter to Mr Santa Claws, the Pussy Foot Inn
 and well Miss Tilly 

Happy Holidays to everyone and thank you from the bottom of my little heart for loving and being kind to us cats.

I'd share my friskies with you but whoops! I've eaten them all. Typical.

Lots of love from Minnie Moo MMx

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Minnie Moo Runs Ragged! Darn Miss Tilly!

This morning daylight peeped into my room a little earlier than usual causing my eye-lids to spring open waking me from the deepest of deep sleep at the alarmingly early time of 4am. I mean for the most we're painfully early risers but hey I'd put it out there that even for us cats 4am is strictly for those sparkly chirpy early morning radio DJ's.

Today is a little special in Noo Zilind (can you hear my kiwi accent?) it's the longest day and we're in for a treat we get to enjoy 14 plus hours of daylight. Boo-ey I say to that. This day is supposed to scream "hello summer" instead the sun is still playing that stupid game of hide and seek with the big gray miserable clouds. If things don't improve on the sunshine front I think I'm going to officially complain to M to do something about it.

Apparently M thinks we shouldn't worry about things we can't control. I think that's her round-about way of telling me that when it comes to weather, it is what it is. Thinking about this and with the daylight making it impossible to sleep I decided to get up and set off to do my neighbourhood patrol.

Sitting in front of the glass door with the curtains drawn closed I had a quick chat with M who was until that point still sleepy soundly "Good Morning M can you hear me? It's time to get up! I slept really well did you? Hmmm yes I know it's early, what? time? oh it's just gone 4am. Could you please get up out of your warm toasty bed and open the door?" I always use the magic word, please.

In silence but with a definite grumpy line tightly drawn across her forehead M stumbled out of bed to pull back the curtains and unlock the door.

Now as most of you know my game-plan with Miss Tilly was to give her a wide berth and basically do everything in my power to avoid her until next year. I think I've got a little crush on her but at this stage I basically turn into one giant bowl of wobbly jelly whenever I'm in her company.

Trying to figure my behaviour out I had a quick sneaky Skype chat with Doctor Tigger and we both agreed I needed to spend a little more time investing in my own self confidence bank. We came up with a plan for me to start a "feeling positive" piggy bank. Every time I feel great about me I deposit a friskie in the bank. Luckily I can only put them in otherwise I'd be too tempted to eat all my "deposits."

Lost in thought I hadn't realised M had opened the curtains and door and I was staring right at Miss Tilly who was sitting all calm and collected on my porch. 

"What are you doing here? It's 4am." "I reporting for morning patrol."

What? I did a mental check of my patrol roster and I swear Miss Tilly's name wasn't on the rota. Darn it I was in a sticky situation again. What to do? Plus going from bad to worse, I still had my bed head on!

Thinking on my feet I bolted out the door. Sprinting past Miss Tilly I shouted "well come on then let's get a move on we've got loads of houses to check on and we're late! We better put our skates on. Go, Go, Go!" and together we ran with Forrest Gump in our stride. 

Without realising it I had taken the long way too adding a whole extra hour to the route. By the time we reached the finish line of home base we were both on the verge of collapse! All that running had wiped us out. Miss Tilly could only just manage to say "Wow that was super tiring. I'm absolutely pooped think I'll head home now for a lie down. Oh and don't be offended if I don't patrol with you. Ever again." 

It worked. My thinking on my feet plan worked! All that running had knocked the stuffing right out of Miss Tilly and me too. Meaning with no puff left there was no chance of me getting into a sticky awkward tongue-tied trying to make a cat-versation situation. I was off-the-hook for another day.

Feeling chuffed I headed home to refuel and recharge with a little power-cat-nap. Just as I could feel my eyes getting heavier with the promise of sleep I felt a flutter of panic wrinkle over me. Will Miss Tilly now think I'm just a big meanie for running her ragged? Will she ever want to speak to me again? Will she think I'm one-running-crazy-cat? So many question marks. Zero answers.

There I was all alone dripping with tiredness and worried I'd jinxed myself. Who would have thought that my trying to make friends would turn out to be one hic-cup after another. Was this all destined to finish in one disastrous belch? Perhaps all this Miss Tilly malarkey is just not for me? After-all I'm Minnie Moo and I'm just a boy cat who's peeved I'm named half mouse and half cow.

Feeling phyllo-soph-ical, you know all light, buttery and slightly flaky I pondered my dream and thought yes I still believe it was a sign and what will be will most definitely be. Also I thought it's really hard to pretend not to be interested when you actually are very interested.

Boy it's all so confusing.

You know what I think I need to de-stress and not think about Miss Tilly. For the next few days I'm officially a Christmas hermit hiding out under the tree. Of course I'll venture out when Santa arrives but to be on the safe side I'm going to wear a disguise. But wait. What if Santa doesn't recognise me and switches from Ho! Ho! Ho! to No! No! No! before giving my pressies to someone else? 

Happy Holidays to all. Be safe, happy and eat lots (of friskies).

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Minnie Moo says Gid'day to family from Oz-Trailer

I've got this fluttery feeling around my little heart that in the New Year Miss Tilly will ask me out to lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn. The other morning I was in such a deep sleep and had a really almost real dream about this and now I'm convinced my dream was a sign that soon I may be seen out and about with Miss Tilly. 

I have to admit when I woke up and realised it was just a dream I felt a river of disappointment running right through me. Luckily I'm over that and back on board the happy but very lazy train.

Between now and then though I think its best I avoid Miss Tilly altogether I don't want to jinx things and mess up anything up by saying something really stupid. I've got this annoying habit of putting my "paw in my mouth" and mixing up words and basically coming out with the wrong things at the right time. Do you follow my drift?

I was thinking about getting Miss Tilly a little something for Christmas like um perhaps leaving a small heap of friskies on her door-step. But thinking about it this may be too much too soon. Instead I'm going to watch Food TV to learn more about her world of food. As if I need an excuse, hello, lounge, TV, food!

Don't worry Friskies I'll always love you more.

Today I'm not going to think about Miss Tilly. Instead I'm going to chill out and spend some quality time lazing on the carpet thinking about how much my house is going to change over the next couple of weeks. Now I know I don't pay any rent or do any kind of housework or cooking or well anything it's still technically my house. Isn't that right M?

Even though its summer over here you'd never guess it and we're all really grumpy at the sunshine. Or lack of it. I mean really? This is your time to shine. Back to where I was going traditionally during the holidays we're all in and out either flopping around or out enjoying well at this point the cloudy days. It's always exciting as its holiday time and that means family from Oz-trailer are coming to stay.

Thankfully they're coming only with their suitcases and leaving behind snakes, red-backs on the toilet seat, wombats, k-oalas, kang-goo-roos and the Tasmanian Devil too. Imagine if they all came too. I just couldn't cope I've  enough issues with sheep, bunny rabbits and d-o-gs. Plus I think they'd just pinch my friskies and head out bush. Bush Tucker I think they call it.

To give you an idea of who's who. One's a girl almost teenager from Melbourne. I've met her before she's super nice to me and only freaks out a little bit when I snooze under her bed or walk on her head for an early morning wake up call. The other's a boy well now a tall swoony guy from Brissy. To top it off he's with his older bro he lives in Noo Zilind and is a bit windy but living in Wellington will do that to you.

And not forgetting too Santa is paying a flying visit this Saturday, December 24th.

But I've heard a rather troubling rumour. Early in the next year a Mum, Dad and 2 kiddies are coming to stay plus they're bringing along some extra baggage. A Spoodle. At first I thought how strange why are they bringing along a doodle of a spoon? I almost fell off my chair when Mrs Google told me it was two d-o-gs kind of joined together to become one. I don't know what's worse the fact that its two d-o-gs as one or that they think they're super-cute. Well it's plain to see that I'm way cuter and the boss too. At this stage though the Spoodle is an unconfirmed rumour, I repeat an unconfirmed rumour only.

In the spirit of the holidays I'm happy to say everyone is welcome and I'll bend over backwards to share some of my space, the Christmas Tree, the garage and all the vegetables in the fridge. 

In an effort to keep everything nice and harmonious I thought it'd be a great idea to write out a quick-list of things that as the real estate agent says are non-negotiable. This will help us all avoid any awkward moments.   

  • I get first dibs on all lounges.
  • The guest bed is mine. I sleep on top, you sleep underneath. Don't even think about kicking me off.
  • If you sneeze around us cats you'll have to go outside, sorry.
  • I tend to snooze on the dining room chairs, if you get a hairy bottom. Well I did say.
  • I get first dibs at licking up the shower water. Yum not gross.
  • Cats are better than d-o-gs. 
  • Please don't make me sit on your lap. Please.
  • Doors are my thing. I'm picky about my exit routes.
  • Friskies. Do not eat. All mine. No exceptions.

There that's not too bad. Is it?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo 
PS: From the bottom of my heart I wish everyone, especially all the cats in the world Happy Holidays. I'll be sharing more tails please read them here 
My blog makes a great gift and it's free!

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Minnie Moo Miss Tilly Mischief?

To tell you the truth the past few days have whizzed by in a blur. So much has been going on I just haven't had the chance to take it all in. It's been madness! I mean if i remember rightly I've been seriously thinking about building a chimney for Santa, I've written him a note, worried about where his reindeer are going to park.  Stressed over the "whats that all about" wooden boring dumb tree only to be turned upside down with excitement when M brought home a real Christmas tree. Then feeling a tad let down because I couldn't be the cat-angel sitting at the top of the tree.

Just as I was getting the hang of the tree, the decorations, gift wrapping and singing carols, Miss Tilly then asked me to join her and the neighbourhood cats for lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn. This was my first time "dining in a restaurant" and well despite a few minor (ok scratch that major) hic-cups let's just say we all had a great time and I learnt the food universe doesn't only revolve around friskies.

Who knew Christmas time was such an emotional roller-coaster ride?

Now I'm just so floppy tired all I want to do is eat a little, have a bath, curl up and check myself in for some serious cat-nap.

I did just that and slipped straight into a blissful sleep that passed from yesterday into today until I thought I heard my internal alarm clock cock-a-doodle-doo at 4.44am. Thinking I was awake I partly opened one eye but it quickly shut closed and before long I was back in the land of nod dreaming of my morning.

Stretching to get the sleep kinks out I asked my personal assistant M to open the door. Wow over night someone had been busy ironing the air with frost as it was crispy and cool. I did the all over-body-shiver thinking Santa must have come early bringing the North Pole chill too. But looking around I didn't see any frozen reindeer droppings so I thought no it's just cold and we'll see Santa as planned on the night of the 24th.

Wishing I still had my winter coat I sucked in a huge breath of cold air and readied myself for neighbourhood patrol. For some reason my eyes still felt sleepy and a little gritty too from Mr Sandman's sand. Anyway duty calls.

Instead of taking my usual route I decided to work backwards. It's not that I walk with my back legs first rather I go to my last houses first and my first houses last. It's a faster option and the likelihood of me bumping into Miss Tilly was small as I was sure she'd be out taking her early morning walk.

As I suspected there wasn't much to report. Everyone was still curled up all warm and snuggly in bed. The only thing I could see were the bunny rabbits down the end of the hill playing their usual game of "let's hop-over" the sleeping cows. Normally I'd watch them play as it can get real funny see when the cows wake they slowly stand up but the bunnies keep right on hopping. Some can't hop any higher and boing right back off the side of the cows. It's too cute.

It was about at this point I thought I'm really useless out here. It's time for me to give in to my sleepiness and head back home. Passing Mr Tuxedo I wasn't surprised to see him up, dressed and all bright eyed and quite bushy tailed. One day I asked him "where do you get all of your energy from" and it turns out he lives with Mr and Mrs V they're both in the energy drink game. Let's just say Mr Tuxedo prefers to drink Vater, a dash of V mixed with water. Grown up cats would say he likes to take a cattail.

Anyway I didn't have the oomph to make cat-chat and continued on around the corner before ducking under the fence to make my way home. I was so hoping Munchkin the jumping d-o-g would be sleeping but as luck would have it he was up doing his morning star-jumps. Not wanting to be roped into an early morning workout session I back-tracked. Right into Miss Tilly.

"Oh Good Morning Minnie Moo, how lovely to see you again. I'm just back from my walk. Hasn't this morning air got a real zingy bite to it?"

A voice inside my now frozen head grew louder, say something, say something, what cat got your tongue? What? Check, no my tongue's where it should be. Ok breathing deeply here goes "Hi." Pause. "Yes it's frosty this morning, what's happened to summer? All I can say is I wish I still had my winter coat in the wardrobe!"

Good not bad, I'd managed to string a few words together and Miss Tilly actually laughed a little.

"Well that's true and by the way I really enjoyed our lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn, we should do it again sometime. Don't you think?"

What? Now wait. Was I hearing right? Did Miss Tilly ask me out for lunch? "I'm not sure I'm free, it's a busy time with Christmas and Santa's arrival." Wait did I just say almost no to Miss Tilly?

"Oh ok I completely understand it's a crazy time of year. I'm busy too I have a very full-on baking schedule ahead of me."

"I'm sorry Miss Tilly my brain is a little frozzy this morning. You know its frosty and fuzzy all at the same time. I'm so cold and tired I don't really know what I'm saying! I'm just a little busy this week with all the Christmas-y stuff. Perhaps we could meet for lunch in the New Year? Wow a baking schedule? What's that?"

"Ah the frozzy brain some ear-muffs would sort you out. Anyway great it's a date let's tee-up to have lunch together in the New Year. Oh and every Christmas I bake little cat-cakes and deliver them to all the cats in the area who are currently without a forever home."

My mind darted back to the days of living on the street and how the kindness of strangers melted by hardened sad heart. Blinking madly I tried to stop my tiny little tears as they made tiny little icicles while falling to the ground. Gosh all I needed now were the violins to start playing a melon-cauli (or is it melancholy?) tune.

"Wow, you're amazing Miss Tilly, if you need a cat-cake-taste-tester I'm available! Lunch in the New Year it is. I'll see you soon. I hope."

Off I trotted home cold and frosty on the outside but toasty and warm inside. I think my heart was beating a little faster too.

What? Where am I? What am I doing here? I'm supposed to be all cold and outside talking to Miss Tilly. Ah shoot don't tell me it was just a dream. Does this mean Miss Tilly really didn't ask me out to lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn and that we're not going to bake cat-cakes together?  

Like a balloon I slowly deflated letting out a long-sad-filled-sigh ppppssssszzzz so it really was just a dream as an air of disappointment quickly filled the room.

Geez feeling like a lump of sadness I slumped off the bed to eat some "real" friskies. Then a tiny glimmer of hope began to shine. Was my dream a sign just like in the movies? Was Miss Tilly really going to ask me out to lunch? She is, isn't she? Already I could feel the pressure mounting. What would I wear?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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Monday, 19 December 2011

Minnie Moo asks for a Doggie-Bag.

To tell you the truth when I walked back to our restaurant table my insides were crumbling with embarrassment. I knew that Miss Tilly and the waiter wouldn't break our secret pact to never speak about me getting stuck in the loo window.

Half of me thought this was genius I mean after-all talking loos at the table either makes you giggle or cringe. Plus its a little tough on me, I'm a tad sensitive about the whole thing and about being so clueless with restaurant stuff. On top of all this I get so tongue-tied around Miss Tilly, I'd make a mess out of describing the whole debacle.

But the other half, the good side of my brain whispered "keeping secrets from your good neighbourhood cat buddies isn't the right thing to do plus it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out they're already in bits trying to figure out why you all spent so long in the restrooms." 

"Hmmm I whispered back, I think you're right. It's best I just come clean." 

So when we were all seated again and polite chit-chat ambled along. I piped up.

"There was nothing fishy going on. It's me. I just don't do well in restaurants and decided to do a runner. To go unnoticed I tried to escape out the loo window. But I got stuck. Just in case you're wondering, it was my Santa Suit it caught the window latch."

I could hear their thoughts ticking over...What? Leave? Why? We're great company. What about the food? "I know, I know I have a problem you see, I don't know how to read the darn menu!"

A big soft wooshy aaaaarrrrrhhhh sigh filled the room. "Really that's it? Don't worry we don't know what the menus all about either we just bluff our way through it. When we get stuck we just ask our resident foodie Miss Tilly." 

Phew you could just-about-see the river of relief flowing right out of me. I knew then that the old saying of a problem shared is a problem halved. Or something like that. Was true. So we all put our heads together to decipher the menu code with Miss Tilly as our champion code breaker. 

By the end of our 3 course meal extravaganza we were all rolly-polly happy and grinning like Cheshire Cats! We'd all managed to leap frog right over the restaurant menu hurdle and in our halo of happiness we came up with the bright idea to write a "restaurant newbie" starter list to help our fellow cats navigate the menu.

10 newbie restaurant tips for V.I.C (very important cats)
A starters guide listed in easy to read alphabetical order

Amuse Bouche
A francy, that's french and fancy, tiny little bite size morsel to make your mouth smile. Just a little. Don't worry it's normally not on the menu and it's a gift from the Chef so you don't have to pay. Yah.

Here's how we say it "booh-ya-bayse" all the cats in france swear by this bowl of fish inspired fruits of the sea soup. Don't think apples and pears. The trick here is sometimes a fork and spoon is needed. 

My eyes went wonky at first I thought it read bearded. Eek. Tossed in breadcrumbs, so sometimes called crumbed, makes calamari or squid rings crunchy. I believe friskies would work well too.

Is not half-cat-half-fish. Phew.

Fork, knife and spoons in different sizes at the side of the plate. As a "rule of paw" start from the outside in.

Entrée, Main, Dessert
Small plate, big plate, small plate or bowl. $ signs match plate size.

Leg of
Sorry but this needs no explanation.

Micro Greens
A teeny tiny Thumbalina smaller than the smallest small salad.

A leave behind reward when you leave feeling super happy. It's not your normal tummy rub or head pat reward or stinky leave behind. No think % & $. The happier you are the bigger the $$.

Wine List
Yummy grown-up drinks with fancy names and $ signs followed by big numbers. 

So all's well that ends well. Naturally I couldn't resist asking for a doggie-bag (MOL meeoow out loud) for my left-over fresh fish fantasia. What? It's not shaped like a d-o-g?

I'm definitely going back to the Pussy Foot Inn. Hopefully Miss Tilly will come too. Do you think?

Now all this food talk is making me hungry. Friskies I'm on my way. 

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: If you love this tail please read my Minnie Moo the cat blogs Thank You. 

Friday, 16 December 2011

Minnie Moo gets stuck in the loo

Looking back at our lunch yesterday a crisis was diverted I almost embarrassed myself right out of the Pussy Foot Inn. The whole going out for lunch, reading a fancy menu thing well turned me into a jibbery scaredy cat. 

I can't quite figure out why, in a way I dine a la chefs table all the time meaning I eat friskies in the kitchen while M cooks. You'd think going to a restaurant would be a walk in the park. Not.

I mean I looked the part and my neighbourhood cat buddies all looked so swish and Christmas-y too. Everything was going so well until I got the menu. Why was it written in gobble-de-dook and what's with all the big french-ish words? I couldn't understand a thing plus where were the friskies? And to top it off Miss Tilly was sitting right next to me. No wonder my nerves were jangling.

I sat for what seemed like an eternity frozen in my chair with a fake smile pasted on my face. Try as I did I couldn't focus on reading the menu and for some strange reason the words kept floating off the page like buzzing flies. I tried swatting them back onto the page, but no luck.

After a while my confidence started to droop, as much as I wanted to fit in it was just all too new for me. I knew it wouldn't be long before I made a complete funny old fool out of myself slurping my drinks, getting the catlery muddled up and licking all the butter off my bread.

I felt disaster looming. It was time for my exit plan. I stole a quick glance at Ms Tilly but she had her head deep in the menu I could hear her umming and arrring over the full of flavour fresh fish fantasia or the captivating culinary crumbly coated calamari (squid rings) boy that's alot of f's and c's.

"Waiter, I called. Could you please show me the way to the restrooms?" I excused myself from the table and we both padded off before long I was in the safety of the smallest room in the house surveying the open escape window.

My mind flashed back to Kingsgate. At least I was used to jumping in and out of small above the loo windows. Todays window was troubling-ly small.

Ok here goes I've got one shot to get this right. Otherwise it's back to the table for me.

Sprinting from the basin I gathered speed and made my perfectly timed jump on top of the loo then springing up off my back legs I leaped up and dived through the window. Except I got stuck half way. It's not that my butt was too big, no, remember the dress code was Santa's best, well my Santa suit got caught on the dang window latch.

Meanwhile Miss Tilly and gang were getting a tad worried. I'd been in the loo for an awfully long time they must have been thinking I'd either locked myself in or my paw was stuck in the paw-dryer. So doing the right thing they asked the waiter to go and check everything was a-ok.

Imagine his surprise when he looked up and found me half-in-half-out the window frantically trying to wriggle out of the jammed Santa Suit. "Ah I see Sir, you appear to have found yourself in a spot of bother?" Oh boy, I wanted to pass out with embarrassment. Before long Miss Tilly wandered in too, after-all in her mind she was thinking "now there's two cats spending an awfully long time in the loo."

Seeing me jammed in the window and the waiter with a slightly amused look on this face was almost too much for Miss Tilly. Teetering on the brink of toppling over from the sight she took a deep breath and steadied herself. This was not the time to panic. 

They had a situation on their paws a plan was needed. Quick smart.

"Minnie Moo I can see you're stuck, is there any reason why you chose not to use the front door?" Darn Miss Tilly's logic. Why didn't I use the front door? "Well Miss Tilly you see I didn't want anybody to know I was leaving the restaurant."

"Ah I see but why would you want to leave when we hadn't even ordered our food?" 

"That's exactly it, I can't understand the menu it's got my mind all boggled." 

"So Minnie Moo, I think I understand, this whole restaurant experience is just too much for you isn't it, you don't quite know what to do, right?" Exact-a-mondo. I thought.

"How about we get you untangled from the window, take off your Santa suit and start again? I'll help you understand the menu and if you like make suggestions as to what dishes to order. Together I'm sure we can do this." I leaned on my front paws and sighed all I wanted was to slink off home and eat a comforting bowl of friskies.

"Ok I muttered. Let's get me out of here." Somehow Miss Tilly and the waiter formed a cat-chain up the wall and unhooked me from the window latch. Freed from my suit I toyed with the idea of making one final leap and running away but I sighed again and decided to stay and face the music. Turning around, Miss Tilly and the waiter were back on the floor waiting for me to make the 2 jumps down.

Once back on firm ground the three of us made a secret pact to never talk about the "situation" again and that Miss Tilly would help me navigate the menu.  

Back at the table no one mentioned my missing Santa suit.

Later on that night I thought about everything Miss Tilly taught me about reading a menu boy it was like climbing Strange Word Mountain. My brain was a soup of too much information. But as I licked my lips tasting the last of my fresh fish fantasia I smiled on the inside thinking my late night friskie snack topped of my food discovery day.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: Is the menu now my best friend? Read more next week here 
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Thursday, 15 December 2011

Minnie Moo the Pussy Foot Inn and Miss Tilly

I'm absolutely over-the-moon! Last night M came home with a real Christmas tree with sparkly lights, fun but slightly droppy baubles with pressies under it! Ah the scent of fresh pine needles with a hint of friskies fills the air. Bliss. 

I'm on the lookout for one or two pressies with the gift tag Dear Minnie Moo, thank you for being such a good boy-cat this year. Merry Christmas. Lots of love Mx. Hmmm what! Nada for me? No worries, I'll use my super-power nose to sniff out M's secret-pressie-hidy-spot.

Well my Christmas gift wish list for Mr Santa Claws is done, I'm really chuffed with my final top ten choices. But some of you are a little concerned about where the heck I'm going to store all those friskies? Seriously I don't see a problem I could just ask M to move out! No really..... one of the elves sent me an email in teeny tiny writing explaining that Santa likes to support local shop-owners so he may ask the supermarket down the road, round the corner, up the hill, down the hill and straight on ahead to make a weekly Friskie delivery.

Note the Elf said may, obviously Mr Santa Claws is still considering my list.

Now you know that pesky Miss Tilly from over-the-road, the cute one with brownish, blackish hair and funny little white paw tips? Well she's not too pleased about my love of Friskies. Apparently she heard M say "I've tried so many times to introduce Minnie Moo to new, yummy, tasty food. Fresh fish, dolphin friendly tuna, dutch sausage even home-cooked chook. But at the end of the day I think while living on the street he over-loaded on pizza and now just loves his Friskies. Everything else gets "two paws down" rejection every time."  

This didn't sit right with Miss Tilly. A born "gast-catronome" that's a long word for a food-lover Miss Tilly is a walking talking food encyclopaedia. Plus I've heard her cooking and baking skills are the best in the neighbourhood even better than Mrs Honey who works at the local bakery!

Miss Tilly has for some reason made it her mission to get my head out of the friskie bowl and more excited about food. I think she has a secret crush on me too.  

So there I was just lazing around outside minding my own business when Miss Tilly walked in her loopy way right up to me and said in a soft, doughy and slightly floury voice "Good Morning Minnie Moo, do you have plans today? All of the cats from the neighbourhood are getting together at 12 o'clock for a Christmas lunch at the local "Pussy Foot Inn" please come too. Ms Hetta is the owner and today she's serving up my favourite Tuna Tartare."

Tuna Tartare, I thought, what's that? Is it Tuna that's always saying thank you like Tuna Ta Ta? Or Tuna dressed up to the nines ready for a night out on the town? My eyes clouded over in a friskie haze.

Before I knew it I heard myself say "Thank you for the invitation Miss Tilly I'd love to join you all. May I ask what's the dress code and who else is invited?"

"Well there's myself, Ms Miley, Mr Tuxedo (he's dressed already), Mrs Super Big Fluff-Ball, Mr Moggie-Oggie, Ms Look-a-like and yourself. Dress in Santa's best. We're meeting down the hill at 11:45am from there it's a 5 minute walk to the Pussy Foot Inn."

"Who's Ms Look-a-like?" 

"Ah yes well you'll soon see you have a look-a-like except she owns a boat too."

As I got ready I thought of the hundreds of different ways Friskies might appear on the menu...Fresh from the box today! Pan-Fried for extra crunch! Served with a little Fresh Cream on the side!  Boy was I getting hungry.

Wow as a group we all looked cat-tastic. Bang on time we gathered and slowly ambled down to the Pussy Foot Inn. There wasn't too much cat-chat as everyone seemed deep in food thoughts.  

What an amazing place, the Pussy Foot Inn is so fabulous it made my eyes pop. High up tables (must not sit on table) with real proper velvety smooth chairs (must not scratch, repeat must not scratch), starched white linen, polished catlery so shiny I could see myself and a collection of drinking glasses for bubbly, white and red water. Stunning famous cat portraits hung from the walls, Oscar the bionic cat, Milo from Milo and Otis, Garfield, Blackie the richest cat in history and then Orangey from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Ms Hetta greeted us like long lost friends guiding us to the best table in the house. Our waiter padded silently to the table unfolding our napkins and give us each a menu. Well that's were I came unstuck and for me it all started to fall to pieces. 

  1. The menu was written in gobble-dee-dook what's with all the fancy words?
  2. No I repeat no friskies on the menu, not even on the drinks list
  3. Ms Tilly was sitting next to me
I was quite good at double-dutch but the menu had me stumped, what did it all mean? Where were the friskies? What do I do with a knife, fork and spoon? Was the loo handy in case I need to escape out the window? Oh my now my tongues all tied I can't manage one word to speak to Miss Tilly.

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

PS: Will I cope or escape? Read more tomorrow 
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