Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Minnie Moo and adventures with Mr T

Ok so it's out of focus! I need to read more blogs subject how to take a half way decent photo

It's been a busy week with me blogging live from the Oscars Red Carpet...well I thought it was live but I was only dreaming....ah well maybe next time I'll get the proper press pass and be the first cat to work the red carpet.

Anyway in all my busy-ness I almost forgot to tell you about my adventure with Mr T. We still haven't met the Hawk but I'm sure it's only a matter of time........

Heading off in the general direction of the trees way over there Mr T and I walked with a sense of urgency in the hope that we’d soon reach our destination “Smallish Village”. Our goal was to warn all the smaller, small and not so small anipals; that’s the celebrity joined named for animals as pals of our belief that a scary Hawk family had moved into the tall trees shading the edge of the village green.

Our main concern was with the bunny rabbits and other cats, you see we have it on good authority from Google that Hawks well let’s just say love nothing better than a bunny rabbit cat sandwich.

Any cat just has to say the H-word and I turn into a real live scaredy cat but part of this mission is to not only spread the word about the new family in the neighbourhood but to also overcome my fear of these huge feathered birds. Did you know they're direct descendents from the thankfully now extinct dinosaur family?

Poor Mr Tuxedo, or Mr T as I’ve christened him. As much as I love his distinguished name and the formal tuxedo jacket he wears all the time I just thought Mr T was easier to wrap my cat-tongue around plus it's way cool.

Mr T's still on Doctor’s orders to wear his head collar and I could tell it was really bugging him. He was dying scratch those not allowed pesky spots and of course it meant he could only see directly in front of him. He was troubled by this limiting factor as he had to be able to spot the impending danger of on- coming high-flying Hawks.

Darn the cone. It was really important to look up, needing to overcome this set back Mr T said “look Minnie Moo you’ve probably guessed but this collar is super annoying and I’m worried because my head movement is limited to looking forward I won’t be able to spot potential Hawk-like danger flying above. I need you to cover this task and be my spare pair of eyes. Is that ok with you?”

Ok I was having a little trouble understanding the sentence spare pair of eyes, did this mean I had to give him another pair of eyes? If this was the case we were in trouble. I just didn’t have any “eyes” on me. Thinking aloud I said, “oh no I don’t have a spare pair of eyes to give Mr T, what do I do?”

MOL. Mr T mee-oowwed out loud so hard he almost fell over! “You’re too funny Minnie Moo did you think I meant you had to give me an actual pair of eyes? Where on earth were you going to shop to find them? Eyes R Us? MOL.”

I knew Mr T was taking the Mickey out of me, Minnie Moo, but as I genuinely didn’t get the whole spare pair of eyes thing I really needed to know what he expected of me, so I tried again.

“So we both know I don’t have a spare pair of eyes on me and even I know there’s no store called Eyes R Us plus we’re miles away from the mall, I’m guessing that I’m way off track with what you’re trying to say?”

“You sure are Minnie Moo!” But don’t worry I wasn’t laughing at you and geez it was so good to laugh as all I’ve been thinking about is this darn cone, Hawks, bunny rabbits and small anipals. Anyway what I meant was……...”

Boy as Mr T began to explain I thought I’ve really got to learn the art of thinking outside of the square and to not take everything word for word or literally as the bigger peeps say.

I finally got it. I understood he meant that because his vision is limited to looking forward he asked me to cover all the other directions, up, down, left, right and report of any impending danger or sticky situations. Mr T also stressed it was so critical that I scanned the sky for any large flying birds coming our way.

I puffed up with pride to be given such an important task. It was like I'd just earned my stripes to pin on my uniform.

With a clear understanding we continued on our mission and I couldn’t help but notice I had a real sense of purpose in my stride after-all I was Minnie Moo, the spare eyes, I was a seeing-eye cat on a very important mission.

Don't they make movies out of this kind of stuff?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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Monday, 27 February 2012

Minnie Moo Oscar Red Carpet 2012 Blog

It's that time of year again, it's the Oscars and I’m super-excited! Me, Minnie Moo a not so fashion forward cat (my wardrobe covers a winter and summer coat) blogging from the “I wish I was on the” 2012 Oscar Red Carpet. I’m so flattered to be covering the most glamorous event in the world, the 84th Academy Awards.

What a red carpet stunner, E News Host, Guiliana Rancic rocks her gown from Tony Ward’s Spring 2012 collection. This is one of her best looks. Feminine, elegant with gorgeous almost botanical detail topped with a retro hairstyle she looks a million bucks.

Oh boy Miss Piggy and Kermit stole my red carpet heart they’re so cute together although there’s no way I’d want to get on the wrong side of Miss Piggy. She’s feisty. Hi-Ya!

So interesting Missi Pyle from the Oscar Nominated movie The Artist is talking about her eco-friendly dress made by Angelo Santo. Did you know the fabric is made by busy but cruelty free silk worms? How cool is that? My coat’s eco-happy I made it myself.

Rose Byrne from Bridesmaids’ is wearing Vivienne Westwood, slinky sequins and midnight blue, so sleek and off the shoulder symmetrical with her blunt bob hairstyle. Sorry it doesn’t WOW me I do like the back though.

Melissa McCarthy looks so bejeweled, bedazzling and be-gorgeous.

Hello is that Nick Nolte? He looks different from his mug shot.

Jessica Chastain from The Help looks stunning in McQueen at first glance the copper gold pattern is almost feline against the black fabric. It’s gorgeous but for me something is not quite right but her Nana is her date, she’s wearing a beautiful necklace. I wonder if she takes Nana naps too?

M how many times do I have to tell you George is with Stacey now! Wearing a Georgio Armani tux George is in a word, purrfecto. Looks like George brought is own statue! Stacey Kiebler looks just like real-life Oscar in her glimmering golden Marchesa gown accented with a beautifully crafted rose on the hip. Stunning.

I’m on half in love with best actress nominee Viola Davis Vera Wang gown. The deep ocean green colour looks incredible on her and the bottom swishes with pleats and ruffles. Unfortunately to bejeweled strapless top is just a tad too tight.

Sean Combs, P Diddy, P Diddy Money what’s his name now? Anyway his dresser just brushed the fluff off his jacket M uses the same brush on my coat! MOL.

Best Actress nominee Michelle Williams looks stunningly whimsical in a softly draped coral Louis Vuitton gown. Topped off with her beautiful blond pixie hair and minimal understated valuable jewels this look definitely on my best-dressed list.

I’m tossing up between elegant, regal, flawless and gorgeous, supporting actress nominee Octavia Spencer looks Hollywood glamorous in her beautiful sparkling ivory beaded Tadashi Shoji gown.

Jean Du Jardin lead Actor Nominee from the silent movie The Artist looks trés dashing phew thankfully no sign of Uggie the d-o-g star yet. I’m still getting over his casting.

Now for a complete 180-degree turn, Sacha Baron Cohen, The Dictator has been let on the red carpet wearing John Galliano (that is so wrong) with the socks by K-Mart! MOL. Oops Ryan Seacrest is so not amused “The Dictator” just spilled the “ashes” of Kim Jong’s II all over him, or was that pancake mix? Well there’s nothing more to say here.

Moving on I’m chuffed my all time favourite funny lady Tina Fey looks totally made up in her midnight blue Carolina Herrera gown.

J-Lo is so naturally gorgeous with stunning hair and make up but it’s time to hang up her confused am I at the Oscar’s or Emmy’s look, Zuhair Murad is so talented but this gown looks kind of cheesy, sleazy or slinky.

Emma Stone from The Help is wearing a terrific red Jean Baptiste Cavalli gown. With it’s huge red bow it’s very a la Nicole Kidman’s Oscar gown plus unfortunately red just bleeds right into a red carpet. I think I’ll leave this one for you to love or not.

I’m inspired to tune in my super-powers and fly off wearing a cape! Gwyneth Paltrow looks regally fashion forward and sophisticated in her white Tom Ford dramatic ensemble

Penelope Cruz looks classically elegant in her gorgeous ocean-blue Armani Privé gown a purrfect choice. True glamour.

There’s no much to say about Angelina Jolie’s silhouette her striking black Atelier Versace gown with the longest split in Hollywood is too stunning for words.

As a Fashion Police Joan Ranger trainee here’s my top three best dressed nominees:
·      Michelle Williams
·      Gwyneth Paltrow
·      Octavia Spencer

That’s a wrap to all the winners remember to thank me!

And the winner is…..Minnie Moo! MOL 

Yours is friskies served next to my Oscar Minnie Moo

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Minnie Moo Adventures with Mr T

Mr Tuxedo wasn't fazed at all about wearing his Elizabethan cone. He simply just got on with his life as if it wasn’t there. It had to be annoying though to have an inverted looking lampshade around your head but, other than not being able to scratch, for Mr T, it was business as usual.

So the other morning I woke up after a long-delicious sleep and slunk off the couch just before those pesky birds chirped their way through the dawn chorus. Stretching and walking at the same time I woke up a few peeps along the way before heading to my dining mat for a hearty breakfast of crunchy friskies. Luckily thanks to me M was awake too and even though it was early she happily opened the door for me (so not true), ah fresh morning air there's nothing like it.

Wandering outside I made my way down our little road and towards the wooden fence line skirting the edges of the nearby hilly paddock. As it was super early, I was quite taken aback to see a lone figure sitting atop a fence post. There sat Mr T against the backdrop of morning mist looking all lonely but wise. If he hadn’t been a cat I would’ve said of Mr T, “he wore a face of a wise old owl.”

Sitting on the grass verge on the road side of the fence I said in a loud voice, just in case the cone muffled his hearing, “Good Morning why are you sitting all by yourself on top of a fence post?”

Fearing I'd jinx him I didn’t say anything about his collar being so wide he might soon loose his balance and plop right off his post.

Half expecting him to “hoot hoot” instead, he went on to say, “well Minnie Moo obviously I’m all by myself as you can see there’s only room for one on this post. But more importantly I’m on look-out patrol. You see I’ve got this eerie feeling that a menacing Hawk lives in that cluster of tall trees over there and is just waiting to fly out and pluck lunch right from under our eyes.”

As you're probably aware I have huge issues with any member of the Hawk family. This fear goes way back to when I was living down the road and round a few corners in Kingsgate. I actually believed our ceiling fan was a Hawk and the lounge absolutely terrified me. The mere mention of the H word electrifies the hairs on my back.

“Do you want to walk with me over towards the trees to warn the bunny rabbits and any other little animals?” Thinking to myself, “ what are you kidding me? No way, no, absolutely not! Even if it meant free friskies for a year I still don’t want to do that!” Then the the strangest thing happened to me. For a brief moment I felt like a chicken. This feeling was followed by words flashing and blinking in imaginary neon lights right before my very eyes, "what happened to the new 2012 Minnie Moo, the super cat all flush with new found confidence?”

Ok so choosing confidence over chicken I said “Look Mr T, I’ve got a confession, when it comes to Hawks I’m a chicken. This crippling fear creeps all over me causing me to feel deathly afraid. But I know I can’t let fear rule my life and perhaps this is my opportunity to be brave and bigger than fear. So as long as you’re brave too I’ll come with you on this adventure.”

Little did I know what I was getting into. Thinking back it was as if Mr T's cone was a beacon of bad things about to happen. In hindsight I should’ve, would’ve, could’ve worn the cone as “the cone of silence.” By staying silent about overcoming my fear I should've gone back home for my mid-morning snack nap.

But you know what they say about should’ve, would’ve, could’ve! It was too late I was on my way to conquer my fears with a tuxedo-cone-wearing cat leading the way. Would we return? Troubled or triumphant?

Yours in thank goodness I ate friskies for breakfast Minnie Moo

Monday, 20 February 2012

Minnie Moo meets a cat wearing a cone

The other day I was still thinking about how my bowtie was upstaged by a permanent tuxedo wearing cat oddly named after his clothing of choice. Mr Tuxedo did the sneaky on me by asking Miss Tilly to be his Valentine and she of course said yes! Her saying yes has everything to do with me meeting a very large loveable Kunekune pig.

To cut a long story short, Miss Tilly isn’t very happy with me just because I asked the pig to be my Valentine and in fact she’s quite grumpy. I guess it’s my fault and if I was in her paws I’d be a little miffed too. But it was all done in the hysteria of me meeting a pig for the first time. Just in case you missed it  click here to follow the story!

To be truthful I didn’t know if I was more upset with Mr Tuxedo for upstaging my bowtie or for offering a Valentine’s Day heart to Miss Tilly. In all honesty I think it’s the bowtie that upset me the most. You see it took me a whole truck load of courage to make the decision to wear the said item then a whole boat load of bravery to wear it out in public.

I guess the moral of that paragraph is if you can’t wear anything with ease just don’t wear it. You know what? I’ve just made myself a new rule not to wear anything that makes feel so uncomfortable. Darn it does that mean I’ll never be able to wear that beret I’ve got my eye on?

Tick tock Valentine’s Day was almost a week ago and its time for me to let go of the Valentine monster that had one green eye on Mr Tuxedo. There was no point in me being upset with either Mr T or Miss T. You see in one of my nine past lives I learnt a valuable lesson “it’s not healthy to hold onto the past, learn from it but move on and look forward to today, tomorrow and a bright future.” So with this in mind I put one paw in front of the other and took myself off for a “move on” walk.

While out ambling along I was surprised to bump into a very fashion forward looking Mr Tuxedo he was sporting a very elegant “Elizabethan Collar”, named after ruffs worn in Elizabethan times. D-o-gs must wear them too, ruff!

Fantastically large it looked like an inverted hat sitting at the base of the neck and reaching up in a cone shape towards the head and ears. I was impressed.

Brushing aside my Valentine’s woes I said “Wow Mr Tuxedo you look so distinguished in your tuxedo accessorised by your cone shaped collar.”

Speaking like he was in an echo chamber he replied “why thank you Minnie Moo, I paid a visit to the really brainy Vet-er-in-arian animal peeps as I had something bothering me on top of my head. Well turns out I needed quick surgery to remove the problem. It didn’t hurt one bit but I’m under vets orders to wear this outfit to stop myself scratching and irritating my sore spot.”

“Oh, I said. I thought it was the latest fashion from the cat-walk.”

“Ha, ha Minnie Moo, I wish, I wish and to tell you the truth it's quite annoying to wear and took me a while to get used to but don’t you worry it’s short enough for me to still eat plenty of friskies!”

So to all the collar wearing cats in the universe I hope they're not making you too grumpy. Get better as soon you'll be collar free and happy again!

Yours in thank goodness my friskies aren’t Elizabethan Minnie Moo

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Minnie Moo Pig vs Cat

The question burning brightly on my brain was what do I do the day after Valentines day? Do I actually have to do anything? Could I just get away with lazing around or should I go out there and make myself useful?

Well I thought, hmm I don't think it's in my DNA to "go out there and make myself useful" I mean I'm a cat I can hardly hold a shovel and do some gardening. Thinking about this further I reasoned well I could go out and dig up the garden, but then I'd get dirt on my paws. That's the end of that idea.

Maybe I could go back and visit Ms KuneKune Pig and roll around in the mud and eat scraps? But thinking there's a theme here, I'd probably get dirt on or under my paws and I don't do dirt under my paws so that's another idea destined for the scrap heap.

What if I went across the street to ask Miss Tilly about her Valentines Day? Thinking again, well this could lead to a sticky situation for me given I did choose a pig over her, a beautiful cat to be my Valentine. Sensing trouble this idea got hurled out the window.

Ah well it looks like lazing around is the best idea. At least I can truthfully say to M "look I had these great ideas of things to do but then that age old problem of having loads of excuses got in the way."

Little did I know that M had accidentally left the bedroom outside door open, now we know in my house this is a no-no coz all the cats think its an open home and just waltz on in like they own the place. So there I was doing what I said I'd do, lazing around upstairs on the carpet when I saw Miss Tilly fly into the lounge and duck for cover under the couch. 

Not knowing what was up I was thinking wow we may have shared lunch together but really Miss Tilly it's unlike you barge in like this, "Good Morning Miss Tilly, this is a surprise visit, can I help you with anything?"

No response. Taking a closer look boy I could tell she was fuming! I could see big puffs of steam coming out her ears, "I don't understand you Minnie Moo, I read your blog, how could you choose Ms KuneKune pig over me to be your Valentines?" 

Oh shoot, there was no way I was going to get out of this awkwardness. I had to dig deep. Having learnt diplomatic skills from the Politicians on the telly I stumbled ever-so-slightly as I said, "Look I was just so excited to have met my first-ever Kunekune pig. I got so caught up in the moment of how massive and deliciously lazy she was it was like she didn't have a care in the world. Then I thought just because I'm a cat doesn't mean I can't a pig to be my Valentine, and well the rest is history."

"Plus if you read my blog you'd know I wrote I think she said yes. She didn't actually say yes." I went on to add "Valentines Day is just one day a year it's how you act every other day that counts too." 

Was she still boiling mad? Judging by the smaller plumes of steam coming out her ears I thought phew she's not so steamy. "Ok I get it, you were quite star-struck by Ms Kunekune pig and wanted to capture a unique moment but just so you I'm a teeny tiny bit broken hearted and I thought it best I tell you Mr Tuxedo from across the road and round the corner asked me to be his Valentine and I said yes."

On that note she slunk out from under the couch bolted down the stairs and darted out the door. I gave chase but stopped soon after as I realised it was the green-eyed monster who was chasing not me, Minnie Moo.

After such a great lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn and dressed up all fancy in my bow tie I should have seized the occasion and asked Miss Tilly then and there to be my Valentine but no, now my bow tie's been upstaged by a Tuxedo. And I couldn't help but notice, was that steam coming out my ears?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo 

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Minne Moo's Valentine

Sorry Miss Tilly, Ms Miley, Ms Ratto and Lady Lucky you might not like reading my blog today, but hey Happy Valentines!

I'm so excited I've found my Valentine. A gorgeous KuneKune Pig.

A few days after my delicious lunch with Miss Tilly I decided it would be good for my health and waistline to take a long relaxing walk outdoors in the giddy fresh air. With only myself and my new found confidence together we headed out beyond my normal neighbourhood route towards the rolling hills of the nearby lifestyle mini farms.

Without a care in the world and a spring in my step I walked and walked and, walked some more. After a while I checked how many steps I'd taken on my fancy paw-dometer gadget that M had given to me. I was amazed to read I'd taken a whopping 5000 steps, that's 1,250 per paw! Wow when I get home I'm going to have to restock my energy levels with an extra large helping of friskies. 

Turning around to go home I thought I was heading back in the same direction but my GPS (global positioning system) must have been a little out of whack as I found myself in a paddock I didn't recognise and face to face with something I'd never-ever seen before.

At least ten times my size, wide and high, and with a giant flat nose and four skinny short legs with feet oddly called trotters I was in the middle of meeting my first pig. Not just your normal pink curly tailed pig this was a rather unusual yet strangely cute KuneKune pig. It was weird as much as I felt a little scared I felt really safe too. 

In Maori KuneKune means "fat and round" and looking at the pig in front of me I was embarrassed to hear myself think well yes that makes sense, plus she was sporting two tassles that were hanging proudly from her lower jaw. I could tell this was one very special member of the Kunekune family.

At that moment I wondered if Ms KuneKune understood cat and without anything to loose I ventured to say "Hi I'm Minnie Moo and I'm a boy cat who's a little peeved to be named half after a mouse and half after a cow. As you can see I'm neither, I'm a cat!" 

Without getting up the pig let out a cute snort followed by a grunting oink oink sound.

"Well hi there it's great to meet you over on my side of the fence! Most tend to stay on the other side, anyway some call me KK. I don't look my best at the moment you see we tend to loose our hair in the summer time. It's not a good look but hey what can I do about it?"

After polite pig-cat-chat I found out that like me she's super intelligent and loves food, but unlike me she likes a good scratch and can be quite affectionate. As we all know I have issues with this kind of behaviour.

I went on to say "it's great we understand each other, us anipals must have a universal language, I guess your oink is the same as our mee-oow or as some cats say miaow? Either way I'm pretty sure I get the gist of what you're trying to squeal."

Thinking it was time for me to head home I said, "well it was super nice to meet you I better head off now before it gets too late. I'm not very good at directions but I think I live somewhere over there. Anyway with my nose and its strong sense of smell I'm sure I'll find my way home again." 

"Didn't you say you live on top of the hill? Well just head back towards the cows they're two paddocks down and then cross over the sheep field over yonder and then I'm sure you'll know where you are. If you ever walk this way again please don't be shy stop by and say hi." 

Nodding a yes I will and thank you I suddenly felt overcome at the thought of leaving my new pig friend. Caught up in the emotion of the moment I blurted out, "Ms KuneKune, will you be my Valentine?"

Oink, oink, snort, snort, grunt, grunt was followed by a couple of up and down nods of the head before returning to continue noshing on the fast decreasing mountain of left-over sweetcorn husks. Woo-hoo I'm not quite sure what she said but I was going to take that as a yes!

Fancy that I thought me a boy cat called Minnie Moo with a Ms KuneKune Pig as my Valentine. Was this a world first? Who knew? All I knew was at that moment I was as happy as a pig in mud! 

Yours in friskies served with 12 long stemmed roses, Minnie Moo 

Monday, 13 February 2012

Minnie Moo happy lunch endings

Lunch with Miss Tilly at the Pussy Foot Inn was great and as I've so often heard other cats say “time flies when you’re having fun.” This was only my second ever visit to a restaurant and if I can say so myself everything went swimmingly well.

There I sat all full of wit and charm plus I even managed to navigate my way around talking about the food by asking Miss Tilly loads of questions about the menu, different cooking styles and how to say and understand all those fancy French words.

By choosing other foods I did feel a slight twinge of disloyalty to Friskies, they'll  always be my all time favourite food group and if they were on the menu I venture to say I'd have them for my starter, main and dessert. Look someone has to keep friskies in business and I’m more than happy to put my paw up for that job!

Funny though The Pussy Foot Inn is a friskie free zone, which to me is a little surprising given 100% of the guests hail from the feline family. Without the choice of friskies I ordered dishes that I could at least read and pronounce! My gravlax of beautifully presented rich yet delicate smoked salmon was delicious and my ravioli was so scrumptious I almost licked the plate clean. 

Miss Tilly was really chuffed with her lunch choices too, the prawns were big, fresh and juicy and the fish all white, flaky and perfection on a plate.

Half expecting to dine with the Minnie Moo from back in December, Miss Tilly couldn’t quite believe the new 2012 version of me! She mentioned whether I’d taken a special course of self-discovery. Intrigued, I said, “um no, what makes you think that?” “Well, she said last year you were quite timid and lacked a little self-belief yet today your confidence cup is full to the brim, in fact it's over-flowing!”

Flattered I immediately thought Dr Tigger’s fake it till you make it theory must be working. That’s all well and good but to tell you the truth I did feel different inside. Not literally of course as I was quite sure my vital organs were exactly the same, it’s just that I felt more positive about being me.

Chatting to Miss Tilly I rambled on that come the end of 2011 I was zonked out and feeling all down in the dumps. Plus the stuck in the loo incident at the Pussy Foot Inn made me feel like I was always making a fool of myself. Not one to feel too sorry for myself I decided to lie-low by taking loads of extra cat-naps to figure out what tools I needed to slowly but surely build a strong foundation of Minnie Moo confidence.
I was quite taken-a-back when Miss Tilly piped up to say “Minnie Moo in our little circle of cat buddies we all think you’re smart, generous and loyal. You look after us too by doing so many neighbourhood patrols.” I quietly thought to myself isn’t it funny sometimes how you see yourself isn’t how others see you at all? 

“So Miss Tilly for a while I felt like I was wearing a big heavy coat of sappy sadness yet deep down I wanted to be that young kitten I once was. Maybe not so energetic and playful, you know even though I was young and living on the street, I was happy.”

I wanted happiness. “Did you know that being happy is a choice? We can all choose to be happy. Some days it’s ok to be not-as-happy-as-yesterday but at least you’re still part way happy. I don’t know if this makes any sense, I guess at the end of the day, I wanted to choose happy.”

Going on I said, “choosing to be happy is just one part, I’m taking it day by day but I’m chuffed that this choice gave me the confidence to step out for lunch with you, my first ever true cat friend.

Yours in happy friskies Minnie Moo

Friday, 10 February 2012

Minnie Moo fakes it and makes it

The Pussy Foot Inn looked exactly the same as it did back in December when we were there for our lunch. The only thing was all the decorations had been packed away to hibernate until next Christmas.

Strangely though there were lots of red hearts dangling from the ceiling, I couldn’t quite figure this out. Was the restaurant in the middle of a healthy heart promotion? And, if so I was quite certain that the Pussy Foot Inn wasn’t the right place to hold such an event I mean food, dessert, yummy beverages and I guess you know what where I’m going with this train of thought.

I almost died of embarrassment when we were greeted by the same waiter who had rescued me from my failed escape out the toilet window while wearing a Santa Suit. I was mortified and so wished for a hole to magically appear to gobble me up.

I swear I saw a tiny hint of a smirk spread to the end of his whiskers yet as cool as a cucumber he didn’t miss a beat saying “Good Afternoon, welcome back to the Pussy Foot Inn, we’ve reserved a very special table for you over by the window overlooking the garden.”

Even though I felt less than two inches tall I managed to put on my best game face (as they say in the big country of the USA) and stood proudly without letting on that I remembered every second of our last encounter. For the first time ever, I remained confident in an awkward situation.

It was Miss Tilly who spoke first, “Thank you and if I remember rightly you’re James you looked after us the last time we were here. We’re still all raving about our lunch and the excellent service you gave to us.”

Wow I was so impressed with her diplomatic flair and let me tell you I loved how she brushed over our last visit and closed the conversation with a loaded compliment. I mean now he wouldn’t dare bring up the loo incident and this time we’d get even better than excellent service. Genius.

Comfortably seated at our table we both settled in and fussed a little over the shiny catlery, the not too starched napkins and the little seasoning pots with salt and that stuff that makes me sneeze, pepper. I was careful to not put any joints on the table as M had recently said the only joints that belong on the able are from meat.

Gazing out over the garden we both oohhed and aaahhed at the gorgeous array of flowers swaying peacefully in the gentle breeze.

James returned to give us our menus and once again I noticed red love hearts printed in the corner of the page with a little note “Ask about our special 6 course Valentines Day menu.” Oh no I thought hmmm, so now I’ve got to navigate my way through the normal menu and ask about the special one too? If so for me lunch was over before it began.

I tried to recall the pointers Miss Tilly had given me on how to read a menu. Some of it came back to me but some was like trying to make my way through a double-dutch word fest. Thinking aloud I said “I’ll ask Miss Tilly to help me with the menu”.

Not realising I had thought-out-loud I was quite surprised when Miss Tilly said, “Excellent, I’d love to help and I might add everything sounds scrumptious. I think we’re both in for a real food treat today.”

“So, I said, I’m a little confused, why do I have to ask about the special Valentines Day menu when the menu is printed right here? I’ve never heard of Valentines Day? Is it something special you eat on a certain day?”

“Oh Minnie Moo, she said with a smile, have you been hiding under a rock? How could you not know about Valentines Day the international day of celebrating love? Named after Saint Valentine traditionally on February 14th everyone can express their love for one another by giving flowers, sweets, treats, cards or writing little notes.”

Oh boy I had opened a can of love worms and I knew that I was going to have to dig deep into my well of confidence to find my way through this conversation and the menu at the same time.

Thinking on my paws I came up with the brilliant plan to thow caution to the wind by choosing two dishes I knew absolutely nothing about and just bluff my way through the tricky subject of Valentines.

“Oh I see now the red hearts make sense, thanks for sharing your knowledge of Valentines Day with me. I had a hunch it was something to do with love but I hadn’t paid attention as to me everyday is about celebrating love. I mean I love my friskies all the time and I secretly love M although I don’t give her too many hugs. I guess I don’t need the one special day I like every day to be Valentines Day.” There, that nailed that one!

Smiling I went on to say, “I’ve had a chance to look through the menu and you know what today I’m going to be really adventurous and order a couple of dishes I know nothing about. The exception is brussel sprouts I’m shuddering at the mere thought! And hey if I like the taste, superb! If not well at least I’ve tried.”

For the first time ever Miss Tilly was stuck for words. Seizing the moment I went on “for starters I think the gravlax. I believe it’s a fancy way of saying smoked salmon prepared with a little sugar, salt, dill and some other yummy things. Then to balance the richness of the salmon for my main I’ll take the fresh home-made ravioli filled with fresh spinach, ricotta and pine-nuts.”

My last choice was vegetarian I thought this would be a nice change from my normal friskie-tarian diet.

It took a few moments before Miss Tilly said, “well, well Minnie Moo I’m impressed and I think 2012 is looking very good on you! I just know you’ll really enjoy your food today. Can you believe it I was going to order exactly the same dishes, now I’m going to have to re-think my choices! This won’t take me long.” 

Feeling buoyed with compliments and confidence I looked out for James gaining his attention I beamed him a mega-watt smile before adding, “James when you’re ready, we’re ready to order.” Always polite I didn’t forget to add, “thank you.”

Was this really me oozing so much of the new me? Once again I heard a faint little voice in my head that sounded remarkably like Dr Tigger “son you’re doing me proud. Remember when we talked about Hollywood? Fake it till you make it Minnie Moo, fake it till you make it.”

Yours in gourmet friskies Minnie Moo

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Minnie Moo's one big drip

Right on time there I sat on the road waiting for Miss Tilly to arrive for our almost a date lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn. Just as I was feeling the will she won't she come jitters the sky opened up and rained big plopping drops down on me. As summer rain the downpour was short and sweet but boy did it have maximum effect, I was soaking wet.

Luckily I hadn’t spent too much time, well no time at all, styling my hair and believe it or not my bow tie managed to hold it’s shape. So even though I looked like one big drip I breathed a sigh of relief for small mercy's you see my imaginary coat of confidence didn’t wash away with the falling rain.

With no time to go inside to dry off I thought ah well, Miss Tilly will just have to take me as I am, one wet but slightly over-fed happy cat.

Moments after the rain stopped the sunshine and Miss Tilly stepped outside at exactly the same time. Now I know this may sound a little cheesy but she looked just like a ray of sunshine, all glowing with brownie reddish highlights and hints of golden flecks. In awe I almost called her Princess Tilly. Almost.

Seeing me sitting in the middle of my dripping puddle made her MOL (mee-ow out loud) in fact she laughed so hard she almost fell over! After what seemed like a really long time she regained enough composure to say “thank goodness you’re not a d-o-g otherwise you’d be in the middle of doing that famous wild post bath hair shake. I'd be right in the line of the on-coming drips to cop a right soaking."

I only sort of got the gist of what she was saying, I mean really Miss Tilly did you have to say the d-o-g word? 

Anyway she went on to add “I’m sure you know this although us cats hate getting doused in rain water it’s actually one of natures best hair tonics. Wait a few minutes you’ll see your hair will come up all lush, soft, super shiny and clean.”

I’m not so good at processing this type of information as without mention of friskies or nap time my eyes tend to glaze over. I must admit that even though I loathe getting wet I was secretly pleased by the fact that moments from now I'd look even better than before.

So with no more threat of rain together we slowly strolled along the catwalk making our way to the Pussy Foot Inn. Having been in hiding the sun decided it as time to blaze and boy it was almost getting too hot under the collar oops I mean bow tie. Then just like in the movies we both said exactly the same thing at the same time; how smart we were to dress light in our summer coats!

This was all very nice but admittedly I was hiding a little disappointment as Miss Tilly hadn't said anything about my bow tie and I was really beginning to think it looked a little silly on me.

Just as we were heading down the slight slope to the entrance of the Pussy Foot Inn, Miss Tilly stopped me and said “see what I mean take a look at your hair it’s positively radiating brilliance and I must add too your bow tie is so stylishly suave it makes you look super dapper.”

Oh boy I felt a tad bad for thinking Miss Tilly didn't care about my bow tie but so long as she couldn't hear my thoughts I should be ok. But was she really saying such nice things about me? Minnie Moo? Me, my hair, my dress sense, brilliant, stylish, suave and dapper? Just then I heard a little voice pop up inside my head. Sounding remarkably like Dr Tigger all I heard was “Of course Minnie Moo, of course.”

All this and we still haven’t had lunch!

Yours in dry friskies Minnie Moo

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Minnie Moo's morning before lunch

Wow I woke up this morning feeling so wonderfully refreshed. It’s amazing what 8 hours sleep plus the catnaps throughout the day can do for you. I’ve heard it said that too much sleep can be bad for you but hey if you look to us cats that theory flies out the window. In our universe too much sleep is our job, that and eating of course. 

After a breakfast of friskies and a rehydrating drink from a fresh puddle of rainwater I was ready to think about my so-called lunch date with Miss Tilly. Surprisingly I was as calm as a bowl of jelly setting in the fridge. Secretly this analogy, whew that’s a long word and it doesn’t mean I’m allergic to anything, means that I could potentially get the wobbles at any time.

Seizing the moment and working on Minnie Moo’s (that’s me) theory of positivity I felt great and ready to conquer the unknown world of dates and restaurants with confidence and humour. Boy is this really me I’m talking about?

There I was all full of breakfast and rainwater and it was still only 7am I had a whole 5 hours to fill before Miss Tilly and I would walk together to the Pussy Foot Inn.

First dilemma for me to sort out, what to wear? The last time we all went to lunch was last year in December for our Christmas pawty and, as we all suited up as Santa I didn’t have to worry about dressing to impress. This time was different I knew that confidence came with feeling amazing in the clothes you wear and being comfortable in your own skin.

Well I figured I’ve got no choice but to love the skin I'm in but my clothes that’s a different story. As you know my wardrobe is pretty limited; a summer and winter coat worn to match my white, gray, black, brown and a little beige tones. With this in mind I thought I’d just go with my summer coat and accessorise my look with a snazzy yet sophisticated bow tie, how very James Bond of me.

Now my four paws are best when used for straight line walking and running to my friskie bowl, tying a proper bow tie would no doubt present me with multiple challenges; firstly I don’t know how to tie shoe laces let alone a bow tie and secondly I’d have to figure out how to use the mirror. Hmmm what to do? Before deciding to ditch the bow tie plan I thought why not check to see what’s hanging in the wardrobe of the other guy who lives here in my house.

Dilemma dissolved! To my surprise there right in front of my eyes was a bow tie. Neatly hanging and already bowed or should I say tied all I had to do was slip it on over my head. Done and well if I can say so myself, super stylish too. 

With my outfit sorted I still had a little over 4 hours before the main event. Pondering....I could put my time to good use by doing a neighbourhood patrol I'm sad to say this didn't happen. I lost the battle with my one eye drawn to the couch. Oh how it longed to close and snooze. The lure was too strong, before I knew I found myself with my bow tie on nicely curled up slowly dozing off somewhere in the land of nod.

Dreaming dreamily I went over the basic restaurant do’s and don’ts of how to use the catlery, you know what to do with a fork, knife and spoon, what questions to ask when you don’t understand the menu, how to make polite conversation and how to enjoy those companionable silences. Gosh I thought, there’s just so much to get right I hope I don’t over-think everything and stress out.

Bang on 11:50am my internal alarm clock woke me up. I briefly had a sleepy head moment of thinking “ok where am I and why am I wearing a bow tie” before my normal everyday head came back on with a clear thought, "hello I’m hungry must eat now."

Now thinking in case the menu is just too out-there-foodie for me I thought I’d better eat a quick friskie snack before I go. Yummo, delicious. Panic set in! Now I have friskie breath! Yucko! What to do? I didn’t know how to use M’s toothbrush and how was I supposed to know how to uncap toothpaste? Like a good cat-scout I thought outside the box and made a mad-dash outside to the herb garden and munched on a few mint leaves.

Breathing out then in I was relieved when a fresh minty smell wafted over me.

With that crisis over, right on 12 o’clock I strode out onto the street to meet Miss Tilly and for the first time in my life I wondered “now is Miss Tilly ready to meet me?”

Yours in “friskies give you confidence” Minnie Moo