To tell you the truth when I walked back to our restaurant table my insides were crumbling with embarrassment. I knew that Miss Tilly and the waiter wouldn't break our secret pact to never speak about me getting stuck in the loo window.
Half of me thought this was genius I mean after-all talking loos at the table either makes you giggle or cringe. Plus its a little tough on me, I'm a tad sensitive about the whole thing and about being so clueless with restaurant stuff. On top of all this I get so tongue-tied around Miss Tilly, I'd make a mess out of describing the whole debacle.
But the other half, the good side of my brain whispered "keeping secrets from your good neighbourhood cat buddies isn't the right thing to do plus it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out they're already in bits trying to figure out why you all spent so long in the restrooms."
"Hmmm I whispered back, I think you're right. It's best I just come clean."
So when we were all seated again and polite chit-chat ambled along. I piped up.
"There was nothing fishy going on. It's me. I just don't do well in restaurants and decided to do a runner. To go unnoticed I tried to escape out the loo window. But I got stuck. Just in case you're wondering, it was my Santa Suit it caught the window latch."
I could hear their thoughts ticking over...What? Leave? Why? We're great company. What about the food? "I know, I know I have a problem you see, I don't know how to read the darn menu!"
A big soft wooshy aaaaarrrrrhhhh sigh filled the room. "Really that's it? Don't worry we don't know what the menus all about either we just bluff our way through it. When we get stuck we just ask our resident foodie Miss Tilly."
Phew you could just-about-see the river of relief flowing right out of me. I knew then that the old saying of a problem shared is a problem halved. Or something like that. Was true. So we all put our heads together to decipher the menu code with Miss Tilly as our champion code breaker.
By the end of our 3 course meal extravaganza we were all rolly-polly happy and grinning like Cheshire Cats! We'd all managed to leap frog right over the restaurant menu hurdle and in our halo of happiness we came up with the bright idea to write a "restaurant newbie" starter list to help our fellow cats navigate the menu.
10 newbie restaurant tips for V.I.C (very important cats)
A starters guide listed in easy to read alphabetical order
A francy, that's french and fancy, tiny little bite size morsel to make your mouth smile. Just a little. Don't worry it's normally not on the menu and it's a gift from the Chef so you don't have to pay. Yah.
Here's how we say it "booh-ya-bayse" all the cats in france swear by this bowl of fish inspired fruits of the sea soup. Don't think apples and pears. The trick here is sometimes a fork and spoon is needed.
My eyes went wonky at first I thought it read bearded. Eek. Tossed in breadcrumbs, so sometimes called crumbed, makes calamari or squid rings crunchy. I believe friskies would work well too.
CatfishIs not half-cat-half-fish. Phew.
Fork, knife and spoons in different sizes at the side of the plate. As a "rule of paw" start from the outside in.
Entrée, Main, Dessert
Small plate, big plate, small plate or bowl. $ signs match plate size.
Sorry but this needs no explanation.
A teeny tiny Thumbalina smaller than the smallest small salad.
A leave behind reward when you leave feeling super happy. It's not your normal tummy rub or head pat reward or stinky leave behind. No think % & $. The happier you are the bigger the $$.
Yummy grown-up drinks with fancy names and $ signs followed by big numbers.
So all's well that ends well. Naturally I couldn't resist asking for a doggie-bag (MOL meeoow out loud) for my left-over fresh fish fantasia. What? It's not shaped like a d-o-g?
I'm definitely going back to the Pussy Foot Inn. Hopefully Miss Tilly will come too. Do you think?
Now all this food talk is making me hungry. Friskies I'm on my way.
Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
PS: If you love this tail please read my Minnie Moo the cat blogs http://minniemoothecat.blogspot.com Thank You.