Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Minnie Moo and the magical Ms Miley

Spot Ms Miley
Feeling relaxed and happy after a day of pampering at the minnie moo day spa plus having had a wonderful night filled with sleep and dreams of me surrounded by bright yellow friskie boxes while living in the supermarket pet food aisle I stepped outside feeling like a million bucks.

The weather was in a better mood too, the sky had stopped crying and even though a few clouds were trying to cast a shadow of doubt the sun was trying to peek through.

To top it all off I'd even managed to get out of bed early and do my neighbourhood patrol with only one "incident" to report. I saw a few bunny rabbits having an early morning breakfast on cabbages from a super-blooming veggie garden that definitely didn't belong to the said bunny rabbit family. 

I was already out the door and as per my normal routine I quietly sit down to take a moment to cast my eyes around for any danger. Now just in case you're thinking "you're a cat you can't open the door" don't worry you're right my door-opening skills are a work in progress, thankfully I have superstar M.

She opens doors and windows, does my personal friskie shopping, cleans my bowl and cat hair off the lounge. And it's all done out of love for, well me. I don't even have to pay her, not one dime, not one cent! 

Just outside the door is long grassy grass, before you start thinking I should do some gardening, these are not weeds it's "landscape". Now I love a good old grass chomp. Don't worry I'm not going through an identity crisis, I'm not a sheep. After my experience with Mr Grump no way! Me I'm one of a kind sheep are well, one in 60 million! Plus at the end of the day I'm a cat.

There I was having a quiet graze, I must say something here some peeps believe that when cats eat grass (you can read more about it) they're sick. Not me I'm a picture of health. I just love to eat. 

Turning around I felt something was watching me with a pair of green sparkly eyes piercing right through me with what felt like a Starwars lightsaber.

There's nothing like danger to squash a good mood. As I crouched down I let out a couple of battle cries to make my presence known, "meeow, moowh, meee." I didn't sound warrior-like at all my voice croaked.

I still felt the eyes on me but I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the eyes were. Was it another cat? Surely I'd see and smell a cat, right? Perhaps some kind of magical bug-eyed bug? I knew it wasn't that cricket I played with the other night they make a right hoo-ha which oddly sounds like "cricket, cricket, cricket." 

There I go again my minds off and racing in the wrong direction. I was loosing focus. Now where was that piercing stare was coming from?

Bingo! "Well Good Morning to you Ms Miley. I didn't see you slouched down low in MY grass under MY hedge. Now what are you doing on MY property and why are you staring at me?"

I needed my eyes checked, stat! How could I have missed Ms Miley? After-all she's 100% black and she's lying in 100% green grass.

"Yes Minnie Moo I'm enjoying relaxing at your house but remember I'm just like you I share your belief what's yours is mine. Didn't you know that I have super-special green sparkly magical eyes?"

"Magical? What do you mean? Can they make a bunny come out of a top-hat? If I put M in a box can you saw her in half, but not really?

"Yes, yes and yes. My eyes can trick you into thinking you see things that you really can't see."

Ok right now I get it, not really I'm officially confused.

Hmmm then the penny dropped. Ms Miley knew I knew she was lying in the grass under the hedge but she tricked me into not being able to see her at all! Amaze-balls.

"Don't worry Minnie Moo I was given these powers in life #3 by a lovely old witch. Yes that's right, hooked nose, warts, black dress, pointy hat and all. It was back a few years on the night of Octtober 31 she swished down and swooped me up on the back of her broomstick then cackled out loud as we rode together towards the moon."

"We got half-way before the witch started to feel a little tired from flying uphill for such a long time. Basically she ran out of puff and turned around for the downward ride back to my place. It was still night time when I was tipped off the back of the stick but, the calendar had flipped the page to November 1."

"My eyes have been magical ever since."

Wow! It was just gone 9:15am and my day was shaping up to be very interesting, plus I was thinking I really did need to make that follow up appointment with Doctor Tigger (my mind-reading psycho-ologist). I think I'm going crazy! I'm talking to a cat who's been half way to the moon and back on a broomstick and has magical eyes. I mean, what choice of transport is a broomstick? Talk about uncomfortable and what happens if you fall off?

I had a sneaky feeling that Ms Miley was making up stories but there was no way I was going to let on or say anything. I mean what if her green sparkly magical eyes made me disappear?

Here's what I did say "don't ever play tricks with my friskies."

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo (MMx)
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