Thursday, 22 December 2011

Minnie Moo Runs Ragged! Darn Miss Tilly!

This morning daylight peeped into my room a little earlier than usual causing my eye-lids to spring open waking me from the deepest of deep sleep at the alarmingly early time of 4am. I mean for the most we're painfully early risers but hey I'd put it out there that even for us cats 4am is strictly for those sparkly chirpy early morning radio DJ's.

Today is a little special in Noo Zilind (can you hear my kiwi accent?) it's the longest day and we're in for a treat we get to enjoy 14 plus hours of daylight. Boo-ey I say to that. This day is supposed to scream "hello summer" instead the sun is still playing that stupid game of hide and seek with the big gray miserable clouds. If things don't improve on the sunshine front I think I'm going to officially complain to M to do something about it.

Apparently M thinks we shouldn't worry about things we can't control. I think that's her round-about way of telling me that when it comes to weather, it is what it is. Thinking about this and with the daylight making it impossible to sleep I decided to get up and set off to do my neighbourhood patrol.

Sitting in front of the glass door with the curtains drawn closed I had a quick chat with M who was until that point still sleepy soundly "Good Morning M can you hear me? It's time to get up! I slept really well did you? Hmmm yes I know it's early, what? time? oh it's just gone 4am. Could you please get up out of your warm toasty bed and open the door?" I always use the magic word, please.

In silence but with a definite grumpy line tightly drawn across her forehead M stumbled out of bed to pull back the curtains and unlock the door.

Now as most of you know my game-plan with Miss Tilly was to give her a wide berth and basically do everything in my power to avoid her until next year. I think I've got a little crush on her but at this stage I basically turn into one giant bowl of wobbly jelly whenever I'm in her company.

Trying to figure my behaviour out I had a quick sneaky Skype chat with Doctor Tigger and we both agreed I needed to spend a little more time investing in my own self confidence bank. We came up with a plan for me to start a "feeling positive" piggy bank. Every time I feel great about me I deposit a friskie in the bank. Luckily I can only put them in otherwise I'd be too tempted to eat all my "deposits."

Lost in thought I hadn't realised M had opened the curtains and door and I was staring right at Miss Tilly who was sitting all calm and collected on my porch. 

"What are you doing here? It's 4am." "I reporting for morning patrol."

What? I did a mental check of my patrol roster and I swear Miss Tilly's name wasn't on the rota. Darn it I was in a sticky situation again. What to do? Plus going from bad to worse, I still had my bed head on!

Thinking on my feet I bolted out the door. Sprinting past Miss Tilly I shouted "well come on then let's get a move on we've got loads of houses to check on and we're late! We better put our skates on. Go, Go, Go!" and together we ran with Forrest Gump in our stride. 

Without realising it I had taken the long way too adding a whole extra hour to the route. By the time we reached the finish line of home base we were both on the verge of collapse! All that running had wiped us out. Miss Tilly could only just manage to say "Wow that was super tiring. I'm absolutely pooped think I'll head home now for a lie down. Oh and don't be offended if I don't patrol with you. Ever again." 

It worked. My thinking on my feet plan worked! All that running had knocked the stuffing right out of Miss Tilly and me too. Meaning with no puff left there was no chance of me getting into a sticky awkward tongue-tied trying to make a cat-versation situation. I was off-the-hook for another day.

Feeling chuffed I headed home to refuel and recharge with a little power-cat-nap. Just as I could feel my eyes getting heavier with the promise of sleep I felt a flutter of panic wrinkle over me. Will Miss Tilly now think I'm just a big meanie for running her ragged? Will she ever want to speak to me again? Will she think I'm one-running-crazy-cat? So many question marks. Zero answers.

There I was all alone dripping with tiredness and worried I'd jinxed myself. Who would have thought that my trying to make friends would turn out to be one hic-cup after another. Was this all destined to finish in one disastrous belch? Perhaps all this Miss Tilly malarkey is just not for me? After-all I'm Minnie Moo and I'm just a boy cat who's peeved I'm named half mouse and half cow.

Feeling phyllo-soph-ical, you know all light, buttery and slightly flaky I pondered my dream and thought yes I still believe it was a sign and what will be will most definitely be. Also I thought it's really hard to pretend not to be interested when you actually are very interested.

Boy it's all so confusing.

You know what I think I need to de-stress and not think about Miss Tilly. For the next few days I'm officially a Christmas hermit hiding out under the tree. Of course I'll venture out when Santa arrives but to be on the safe side I'm going to wear a disguise. But wait. What if Santa doesn't recognise me and switches from Ho! Ho! Ho! to No! No! No! before giving my pressies to someone else? 

Happy Holidays to all. Be safe, happy and eat lots (of friskies).

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo
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