Minnie Moo A St Patricks Day Limerick

To all Irish Cats Happy St Patricks Day

A limerick about a wee little Minnie-Moo

Who tought he was Irish through & through

He liked to wear a big green hat

On his head it sat

While eating Friskies he did chew & chew

Minnie Moo Fearless Leader of the Anipals

It was mission time but before I got under the box with Mr T and Mayor Thumper I turned around to see just how long the box congo line stretched. Wow! it went for miles upon miles, well maybe at least the length of two football fields, three basketball courts and four lengths of an Olympic size swimming pool. I knew all the sizes from watching sport on the telly. 

Squinting into the distance I saw loads of little boxes and heard the muffled sounds of the anipals chatting excitedly under their boxes. Judging by the high pitch squeals everyone was anxious to get our Hawk mission show on the road.

Right I thought, as their fearless leader I really should send a motivating message but with the line so long it was going to be impossible for everyone to hear me and where was a megaphone when I needed one? Thinking outside the box I knew all the box sides had little air holes, the best way for my message to travel was for us all to play pass the message.

I briefly told Mr T and Mayor Thumper of my plans and all they said was, brilliant! Making my way to the first box I thought about how defining my message would be and thinking of the great cat Mr Churchill I knew they would look to me for strength, guidance and reassurance our box congo line plan would work.  

In my clear made for radio voice I spoke through the holes of the first box, “We're ready to go. I’m going to say this message once and then I ask you to repeat it to the box behind you, they will in turn to the same and so on and so on.”

“Always keep your eye on the box in front of you. No over-taking. Please keep quiet. Unless I give the order, do not get out from under your box. When my box stops under the 3^rd tree to the left, your box is to stop to the right of the front box. Our goal is to form a large circle around the group of trees. Be brave, be strong. Now pass this message to the box behind you.”

As I walked back to my box I had a sneaky suspicion that by the time the message reached the last box it’d be completely muddled, “Pass the box behind you and also keep your eyes to the front when over-taking. Do not keep quiet and when I give the order get out from under your box. When we reach the 3^rd tree to the right stop in front of the left box. Get out and form a large circle around the tree. Be brave and sing a song.” 

With Mayor Thumper as our navigator we set off. There were quite a few obstacles to overcome and we all had to take extra care not to stub our paws on the little rocks. It got tricky around the cluster of low-lying bushes. With only the tiniest of a gap between each bush it made it impossible for us to squeeze through we had no option but to take the long way round before dropping down quite a steep hillside to reach the lush flat grassy field of the village green.

After a while I checked-in with Mr T and he admitted to being nervous as to what I was going to say to Mr Hawk and really concerned I’d be so pumped up on courage I'd step out of the box right into the claws of danger.

No way, I reassured him, I'm going to avoid all danger and I've thought long and hard about what I'm going to say, please, believe in me. 

Crossing the village green, Mayor Thumper checked in, "another five minutes and we're there." At those words my heart started beating so loudly I thought it was going to beat right out of my chest, but as the leader I had to keep it together. By taking a few deep breaths and thinking of my friskie happy place my mind snapped back to the task at hand.

"Thank you Mayor Thumper can you please give us a one-minute countdown?" Right you are Minnie Moo, actually we're a lot closer than I thought in fact, I better start counting now here we go 60,59,58,57,56,55. For every second my heart skipped a beat 53,51,49,47, thankfully it returned to normal for the last ten seconds. We had reached our destination.

Sitting quietly under our box time passed slowly as we waited for all the anipals to form their protective box circle. Phew I let out a sigh of relief my pass the message plan had worked. 

As the circle of anipals settled an eerie calm descended even the crickets stopped chirping. For a few long moments the sound of silence filled the air. Crouching down low between Mr T and Mayor Thumper I whispered "this is the calm before our storm, don’t worry and trust in my plan."

In the blink of an eye everything changed as the threatening sounds of swooshing wings cut through the air and screeching menacing cries of ark, ark, ark pierced like shards of glass through our tiny box holes. After what seemed like an awfully long time the madness hushed but yet a dark shadow lingered in the silence. It was then I knew our moment of truth was sitting on top of our box.

Fancy that a box right under my tree with a landing pad clearly marked  HAWKS LAND HERE and judging by where I'm currently perched it looks like I haven't lost my touch in perfecting the perfect landing. But, this isn't right there's something going on why on earth are there so many boxes circling the trees? As my beady eyes glistened I could smell a little anipal perhaps a rat, no make that a cat and a bunny rabbit.

Shattering the silence I began to peck like an over-worked jackhammer creating a few holes for me to see into the box. Confirming my smelling-suspicion, I screeched, hello, what do we have here, two cats and one very large rabbit. The mere sight had my tummy doing the grumbling dance and my my wasn't the buffet table going to look tasty tonight?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo Brave-Cat Brave-Heart

The three of us sat huddled together planning our visit to the Hawk family lucky for me I was sitting down as my little legs were overcome with nerves and got a bad case of the trembles. If I'd been standing I would've toppled over by now.

It was at that moment I had my one and only fleeting dark thought, hmmmm it’s ok for you Mr T your collar cone will keep you safe. Look at it! It's so wide there’s just no way Hawk claws can stretch all the way to grab hold before plucking you away to never to be seen again land. As for Mayor Thumper, well at the first sign of danger no doubt she’ll just dig herself a hole and bolt into the safety of one of the many underground tunnels.

Well as for me, I’ll be the one left all alone and exposed, just me, Minnie Moo against a low flying hungry Hawk. I didn’t even have a song and dance routine up my sleeve to use as a distraction. What chance did I have? I could see it now if worse came to worse I would definitely be the main course on the Hawk tasting platter.

Oh boy we needed a full proof plan.

Once again, Mayor Thumper took control after all she knew the village like the back of her big floppy ears and this knowledge was vital in our planning of what route to take.

“Right she said, at least we don’t have to worry about planning the village fête tomorrow night, the little village pawty planning committee has that side all under control. In celebration of our community spirit our mission is to invite the currently disruptive Hawk’s to the party and convert them to friends instead of them seeing us as yummy treats for the buffet table.”

Looking to us, she said, “So any ideas anyone? No, Minnie Moo, I can read your mind, we can’t back out now, all the little village anipals are counting on us to return them to their homes and their beloved village to it’s pre-Hawk glory days.”

Hey I might be a scaredy cat but I’m not a chicken!

Mr T what do you think? “Well first up I think we all need to wear protective clothing or be under some sort of shelter. If we leave ourselves exposed we’ve got no chance of surviving this mission, in fact we’ll be on the buffet like it or not!”

Feeling a little miffed about the chicken thing, I piped up, “yes my thinking exactly, I couldn’t agree more we need to get under a box!” 

“Mmmmm said Mayor Thumper, that’s an excellent idea. If we all travel under a giant box together and poke seeing-eye holes through the sides that might do the trick. The only problem is I hop and you both walk so we’d need a box that’s going to be just the right size to make room for my jumping." 

Feeling unlike a chicken I bravely ventured, Look to the left there’s a giant box! It looks light enough for us to easily crawl under and even better, how about we get one of the anipals to jump on top of the box and draw a big landing circle and in the middle write in big letters “HAWKS LAND HERE? Then when the Hawk lands we’ll be able to talk through the safety of our little holes."

I finished by confidently adding, “there’s no chance even a monster sized Hawk with a super large claw span would be able to pick up that box. It’s so big it’s like a box mountain!”

In unison Mr T and Mayor Thumper said, “terrific Minnie Moo we like your thinking! So all things going to plan when the Hawk is on of the box what do we say?

"Just leave it to me, I said with my best thinking cap on, I’m going to put on my best diplomat voice and just like the United Nations ask for peace.”

“Ok Minnie Moo that sounds like a fool-proof plan we’ll back you up every step of the way, or in my case, said Mayor Thumper, every hop of the way."

The little anipal grapevine was working overtime as before we could say "Peter Rabbit" two bunny rabbits with a marker pen each were on top of the box drawing a landing pad circle and writing out in neat paw-writing “HAWKS LAND HERE.”

As if that wasn’t enough, just like in the movie BRAVE-CAT, all the other little village anipals went two by two under their own boxes to form one long box congo line behind our gi-normous box. Together they squeaked and miaowed at the top of their voices "there’s safety in numbers!" 

Under the expert guide of their fearless leader and with Mayor Thumper giving directions we walked and hopped in our box congo line towards our destination, the third tree from the left, home of the family Hawk.

By letting go of my fear but keeping hold of my brave heart I quickly cat-a-pult-ed through the ranks from Seeing-Eye Cat to me, Minnie Moo Fearless Leader of the anipals from Little Village.  

Yours in Friskies Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo & Mr T meets the Anipals of Little Village

For the first few moments we didn't say anything as after-all we were in the presence of a rather large rabbit with a really impressive title, Mayor Thumper.  Ever the professional Mr T found his words to say, “yes, we’d really like to help you put together a plan to stop the Hawk family menacing Little Village and scaring all the little anipals out from the safety of their own homes. Before I go on perhaps we should introduce ourselves?”

“Excellent idea,” said Mayor Thumper as she thumped her tail in agreement.

“Well I’m Mr Tuxedo or Mr T for short and this is my cat buddy Minnie Moo, we live in two separate houses way over there down the gully and up the hill. Don’t let my rather large collar fool you, it’s not part of my coat. My really brainy anipal doctor has told me I have to wear it to help me heal and stop me scratching.”

“That’s ok Mr T said Mayor Thumper I’ve seen plenty of collars and from what I hear they’re itchy and the only choice is to look straight ahead! Oh boy I’m getting off track, now about the Hawk family?”

We all hung our heads and pondered this very delicate yet incredibly dangerous situation. Silence hung as we were lost in our thoughts about what to do and what was best for everyone who lived in Little Village. Word soon spread that something was going on as before we could say “Peter Rabbit” a menagerie of little anipals surrounded us.

They’d all come out of hiding to show their support and to let us know how protective they all were of their Little Village. From where I was sitting it looked like one of those flash mobs I’ve seen on you tube except without the dancing. Here we were having a flash meeting. Mayor Thumper soon called us all to order with a thump of her tail.

“Anipals of Little Village we’re honoured to have with us Mr T and Minnie Moo from all the way, way over there. They’ve come a long way to warn us of their belief a Hawk family has moved into the third tree from the left.”

Together they all sing-songed, "Yes! That’s right! I’ve seen them with my very own eyes fly high in the sky."

“Now as we all know this to be true we’re now working on a plan in the hope we might all be able return to living in peace and harmony above ground instead of hiding in the damp dark underground.”

Once again I heard the collective voice chorus “Yes! that’s right we want peace and harmony!”

“Mr T and Minnie Moo have come up with a plan of the top three things we could do. Now all we need to do is decide on the one thing.”

1.  We create a no-fly zone over Little Village meaning the Hawks are only allowed to fly around the outside of the outskirts of the village.

2.   We move our little village and build again in the tiny field just behind the Pussy Foot Inn.

3.   We invite the Hawk Family to join our local village fête and welcome them as part of our community.

In a loud clear voice only slightly muffled by the cone Mr T said “we’d like YOU as villagers to decide on what should be done!”

After what seemed like one really long hour filled with loads of hearty debate Mayor Thumper had listened to what everyone had to say and after a while brought the meeting back to order, saying confidently, “Villagers you have chosen well, imagine if we had of chosen number one we'd forever be prisoners in our Little Village and worse still, if we did cross the border over to the other side a Hawk could very well then legally swoop down to take us to never-be-seen-again land."  

She went on, “we’ve all said NO! to packing up our lives and building again in a place we don’t know or love. Little Village is our home, it’s where we have our roots and eat roots too.”

“Number 3 it is! Everyone loves a party, after this meeting I’m going with Mr T and Minnie Moo to visit the Hawk family home and invite them to our local village fête tomorrow night.”

Gulp, was that my name I just heard? Are you sure you want me to come? You know two’s company three’s a crowd and all that? My thoughts must have echoed into Mr T’s collar cone as he said “Minnie Moo remember this mission was to also help you let go of your hawk-o-phobia. Now it’s your time to raise to the occasion, feel the fear and do it anyway!”

I remembered reading that line in a book somewhere and also of the time a wise old cat once said to me, F.E.A.R is Failure Emerging As Reality. Right then and there I wished it meant Friskies Emerging As Reality!

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

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Minnie Moo Mr T meet Thumper

Papa can you hear me....Papa Hawk in action

Without stopping we continued on our adventure to warn all the anipals living in the little village of our suspicions of a menacing Hawk family that had recently moved in and made a nesting home in the trees around the edge of the village green.

It’s a well-known fact (all those letters spell fat cat) that I suffer from hawk-o-phobia. From the ancient greek-cat language it means a fear of Hawks, those birds that shared the same gene pool as dinosaurs once did. They're from the same family tree. O just means o-no is that Hawk and phobia is the official way of saying fear, scaredy cat or deathly afraid if you get my drift.

With each step Mr T continued to grumble about having to wear his cone collar, it limited his vision to looking straight ahead only. Earlier on in the day he’d given me the job of “seeing eye” cat I was Mr T’s spare eyes to look left, right, up and down. We were a team on a mission and just as we passed the half way point I noticed a dark shadow blotch an otherwise picture perfect bright blue summer sky.

Not wanting to alarm Mr T, I cautiously said, “it’s time for us to get out of this open exposed space and hurry to shelter under those bushes up there on that hillside ledge.”

Sensing my worried tone and without asking any questions Mr T followed me to the left as we criss-crossed our way up the hill to the safety of a cluster of bushy bushes. Due to the width of Mr T's cone we both reversed into the bushes backside first squashing the leaves and twigs making enough room for us both to crouch down low.

I whispered to Mr T, “I saw a shadow hovering above in the sky and not wanting to take any chances I thought it best for us to lay low until we’re certain all we can see is the blue light of day.”

“Phew, he said, I thought danger was close by as my darn whiskers were twitching like mad, that’s a sure sign of trouble with a capital T.” Catching a sneaky side-ways look sure enough Mr T’s whiskers were furiously twitching causing his cone to tremble too.

After a while I bravely took a few steps out to check the coast was clear and yes with the sky an unblemished radiant blue we both quickened our pace to reach the village before Trouble could find us.

Remembering my task to look left, right, up and as I looked down I got the surprise of my life. A little bunny-rabbit’s head popped up from a teeny tiny hole in the ground to half-shout half-squeak, “What’s up, what are you two cats doing in our village?”

Not messing about with his words, Mr T didn’t even draw a breath before spilling out “look little bunny rabbit we don’t have much time, we’ve walked for miles from the top of that hill way back there to warn you all we believe a Hawk family has moved into those trees over there.” Amazingly Mr T lifted his front right paw and without losing his balance pointed perfectly towards the trees.

“Wow, your suspicions are bang-on! Living in the third from the left tree is Papa Hawk, he’s so big and proud and Mama Hawk who is still sitting in her nest looking after her two fluffy feathery little but soon to be big ones.” Taking a deep breath and letting out a weary or is that wary sigh the bunny rabbit went on to say, “our little village is dead quiet now, most of us are in hiding here underground or under the bushes, between rocks and in-between all the clumps of grass.”

I don’t know if I was being a tad over-sensitive but I swore the bunny rabbit was looking directly at me before saying “I’d invite you to visit but I can see someone’s been eating too many friskies and won’t fit down the hole!”

Not wanting to make light of the situation Mr T turned serious “so you’re all living in fear of the Hawks? It’s outrageous that many of you have are too scared to even stay in your own homes. I guess too you’re all sneaking out at night to get food and supplies, am I right?”

“Yes we’re all terrified we’ll be swooped upon and plucked up to be eaten for breakfast. Now we only come out at night to find our food.”

“Right then, said Mr T, we need to take action please take me to the office of the village Mayor.” Without answering the bunny rabbit disappeared down the hole and left us standing there. Just as we were turning to leave a rather large rabbit squeezed up and out of the hole.

First the ears plopped out, then the eyes, a twitchy nose and two long front teeth, followed by two paws and a jump, there in front of us stood a magnificent rabbit saying, What’s up? I’m Mayor Thumper, I hear you’re here to help us with our Hawk situation. I must add here without knowing you I must commend you for being such good cat-izens coming all this way to warn us and help us take action.”

And together we sat hatching a plan and slowly but surely more little anipals joined in all keen to do anything to all live happily in their village again.

Yours in down-sized friskies Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo and adventures with Mr T

Ok so it's out of focus! I need to read more blogs subject how to take a half way decent photo

It's been a busy week with me blogging live from the Oscars Red Carpet...well I thought it was live but I was only dreaming....ah well maybe next time I'll get the proper press pass and be the first cat to work the red carpet.

Anyway in all my busy-ness I almost forgot to tell you about my adventure with Mr T. We still haven't met the Hawk but I'm sure it's only a matter of time........

Heading off in the general direction of the trees way over there Mr T and I walked with a sense of urgency in the hope that we’d soon reach our destination “Smallish Village”. Our goal was to warn all the smaller, small and not so small anipals; that’s the celebrity joined named for animals as pals of our belief that a scary Hawk family had moved into the tall trees shading the edge of the village green.

Our main concern was with the bunny rabbits and other cats, you see we have it on good authority from Google that Hawks well let’s just say love nothing better than a bunny rabbit cat sandwich.

Any cat just has to say the H-word and I turn into a real live scaredy cat but part of this mission is to not only spread the word about the new family in the neighbourhood but to also overcome my fear of these huge feathered birds. Did you know they're direct descendents from the thankfully now extinct dinosaur family?

Poor Mr Tuxedo, or Mr T as I’ve christened him. As much as I love his distinguished name and the formal tuxedo jacket he wears all the time I just thought Mr T was easier to wrap my cat-tongue around plus it's way cool.

Mr T's still on Doctor’s orders to wear his head collar and I could tell it was really bugging him. He was dying scratch those not allowed pesky spots and of course it meant he could only see directly in front of him. He was troubled by this limiting factor as he had to be able to spot the impending danger of on- coming high-flying Hawks.

Darn the cone. It was really important to look up, needing to overcome this set back Mr T said “look Minnie Moo you’ve probably guessed but this collar is super annoying and I’m worried because my head movement is limited to looking forward I won’t be able to spot potential Hawk-like danger flying above. I need you to cover this task and be my spare pair of eyes. Is that ok with you?”

Ok I was having a little trouble understanding the sentence spare pair of eyes, did this mean I had to give him another pair of eyes? If this was the case we were in trouble. I just didn’t have any “eyes” on me. Thinking aloud I said, “oh no I don’t have a spare pair of eyes to give Mr T, what do I do?”

MOL. Mr T mee-oowwed out loud so hard he almost fell over! “You’re too funny Minnie Moo did you think I meant you had to give me an actual pair of eyes? Where on earth were you going to shop to find them? Eyes R Us? MOL.”

I knew Mr T was taking the Mickey out of me, Minnie Moo, but as I genuinely didn’t get the whole spare pair of eyes thing I really needed to know what he expected of me, so I tried again.

“So we both know I don’t have a spare pair of eyes on me and even I know there’s no store called Eyes R Us plus we’re miles away from the mall, I’m guessing that I’m way off track with what you’re trying to say?”

“You sure are Minnie Moo!” But don’t worry I wasn’t laughing at you and geez it was so good to laugh as all I’ve been thinking about is this darn cone, Hawks, bunny rabbits and small anipals. Anyway what I meant was……...”

Boy as Mr T began to explain I thought I’ve really got to learn the art of thinking outside of the square and to not take everything word for word or literally as the bigger peeps say.

I finally got it. I understood he meant that because his vision is limited to looking forward he asked me to cover all the other directions, up, down, left, right and report of any impending danger or sticky situations. Mr T also stressed it was so critical that I scanned the sky for any large flying birds coming our way.

I puffed up with pride to be given such an important task. It was like I'd just earned my stripes to pin on my uniform.

With a clear understanding we continued on our mission and I couldn’t help but notice I had a real sense of purpose in my stride after-all I was Minnie Moo, the spare eyes, I was a seeing-eye cat on a very important mission.

Don't they make movies out of this kind of stuff?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo

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Minnie Moo Oscar Red Carpet 2012 Blog

It's that time of year again, it's the Oscars and I’m super-excited! Me, Minnie Moo a not so fashion forward cat (my wardrobe covers a winter and summer coat) blogging from the “I wish I was on the” 2012 Oscar Red Carpet. I’m so flattered to be covering the most glamorous event in the world, the 84^th Academy Awards.

What a red carpet stunner, E News Host, Guiliana Rancic rocks her gown from Tony Ward’s Spring 2012 collection. This is one of her best looks. Feminine, elegant with gorgeous almost botanical detail topped with a retro hairstyle she looks a million bucks.

Oh boy Miss Piggy and Kermit stole my red carpet heart they’re so cute together although there’s no way I’d want to get on the wrong side of Miss Piggy. She’s feisty. Hi-Ya!

So interesting Missi Pyle from the Oscar Nominated movie The Artist is talking about her eco-friendly dress made by Angelo Santo. Did you know the fabric is made by busy but cruelty free silk worms? How cool is that? My coat’s eco-happy I made it myself.

Rose Byrne from Bridesmaids’ is wearing Vivienne Westwood, slinky sequins and midnight blue, so sleek and off the shoulder symmetrical with her blunt bob hairstyle. Sorry it doesn’t WOW me I do like the back though.

Melissa McCarthy looks so bejeweled, bedazzling and be-gorgeous.

Hello is that Nick Nolte? He looks different from his mug shot.

Jessica Chastain from The Help looks stunning in McQueen at first glance the copper gold pattern is almost feline against the black fabric. It’s gorgeous but for me something is not quite right but her Nana is her date, she’s wearing a beautiful necklace. I wonder if she takes Nana naps too?

M how many times do I have to tell you George is with Stacey now! Wearing a Georgio Armani tux George is in a word, purrfecto. Looks like George brought is own statue! Stacey Kiebler looks just like real-life Oscar in her glimmering golden Marchesa gown accented with a beautifully crafted rose on the hip. Stunning.

I’m on half in love with best actress nominee Viola Davis Vera Wang gown. The deep ocean green colour looks incredible on her and the bottom swishes with pleats and ruffles. Unfortunately to bejeweled strapless top is just a tad too tight.

Sean Combs, P Diddy, P Diddy Money what’s his name now? Anyway his dresser just brushed the fluff off his jacket M uses the same brush on my coat! MOL.

Best Actress nominee Michelle Williams looks stunningly whimsical in a softly draped coral Louis Vuitton gown. Topped off with her beautiful blond pixie hair and minimal understated valuable jewels this look definitely on my best-dressed list.

I’m tossing up between elegant, regal, flawless and gorgeous, supporting actress nominee Octavia Spencer looks Hollywood glamorous in her beautiful sparkling ivory beaded Tadashi Shoji gown.

Jean Du Jardin lead Actor Nominee from the silent movie The Artist looks trés dashing phew thankfully no sign of Uggie the d-o-g star yet. I’m still getting over his casting.

Now for a complete 180-degree turn, Sacha Baron Cohen, The Dictator has been let on the red carpet wearing John Galliano (that is so wrong) with the socks by K-Mart! MOL. Oops Ryan Seacrest is so not amused “The Dictator” just spilled the “ashes” of Kim Jong’s II all over him, or was that pancake mix? Well there’s nothing more to say here.

Moving on I’m chuffed my all time favourite funny lady Tina Fey looks totally made up in her midnight blue Carolina Herrera gown.

J-Lo is so naturally gorgeous with stunning hair and make up but it’s time to hang up her confused am I at the Oscar’s or Emmy’s look, Zuhair Murad is so talented but this gown looks kind of cheesy, sleazy or slinky.

Emma Stone from The Help is wearing a terrific red Jean Baptiste Cavalli gown. With it’s huge red bow it’s very a la Nicole Kidman’s Oscar gown plus unfortunately red just bleeds right into a red carpet. I think I’ll leave this one for you to love or not.

I’m inspired to tune in my super-powers and fly off wearing a cape! Gwyneth Paltrow looks regally fashion forward and sophisticated in her white Tom Ford dramatic ensemble

Penelope Cruz looks classically elegant in her gorgeous ocean-blue Armani Privé gown a purrfect choice. True glamour.

There’s no much to say about Angelina Jolie’s silhouette her striking black Atelier Versace gown with the longest split in Hollywood is too stunning for words.

As a Fashion Police Joan Ranger trainee here’s my top three best dressed nominees:

·      Michelle Williams

·      Gwyneth Paltrow

·      Octavia Spencer

That’s a wrap to all the winners remember to thank me!

And the winner is…..Minnie Moo! MOL 

Yours is friskies served next to my Oscar Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo Adventures with Mr T

Mr Tuxedo wasn't fazed at all about wearing his Elizabethan cone. He simply just got on with his life as if it wasn’t there. It had to be annoying though to have an inverted looking lampshade around your head but, other than not being able to scratch, for Mr T, it was business as usual.

So the other morning I woke up after a long-delicious sleep and slunk off the couch just before those pesky birds chirped their way through the dawn chorus. Stretching and walking at the same time I woke up a few peeps along the way before heading to my dining mat for a hearty breakfast of crunchy friskies. Luckily thanks to me M was awake too and even though it was early she happily opened the door for me (so not true), ah fresh morning air there's nothing like it.

Wandering outside I made my way down our little road and towards the wooden fence line skirting the edges of the nearby hilly paddock. As it was super early, I was quite taken aback to see a lone figure sitting atop a fence post. There sat Mr T against the backdrop of morning mist looking all lonely but wise. If he hadn’t been a cat I would’ve said of Mr T, “he wore a face of a wise old owl.”

Sitting on the grass verge on the road side of the fence I said in a loud voice, just in case the cone muffled his hearing, “Good Morning why are you sitting all by yourself on top of a fence post?”

Fearing I'd jinx him I didn’t say anything about his collar being so wide he might soon loose his balance and plop right off his post.

Half expecting him to “hoot hoot” instead, he went on to say, “well Minnie Moo obviously I’m all by myself as you can see there’s only room for one on this post. But more importantly I’m on look-out patrol. You see I’ve got this eerie feeling that a menacing Hawk lives in that cluster of tall trees over there and is just waiting to fly out and pluck lunch right from under our eyes.”

As you're probably aware I have huge issues with any member of the Hawk family. This fear goes way back to when I was living down the road and round a few corners in Kingsgate. I actually believed our ceiling fan was a Hawk and the lounge absolutely terrified me. The mere mention of the H word electrifies the hairs on my back.

“Do you want to walk with me over towards the trees to warn the bunny rabbits and any other little animals?” Thinking to myself, “ what are you kidding me? No way, no, absolutely not! Even if it meant free friskies for a year I still don’t want to do that!” Then the the strangest thing happened to me. For a brief moment I felt like a chicken. This feeling was followed by words flashing and blinking in imaginary neon lights right before my very eyes, "what happened to the new 2012 Minnie Moo, the super cat all flush with new found confidence?”

Ok so choosing confidence over chicken I said “Look Mr T, I’ve got a confession, when it comes to Hawks I’m a chicken. This crippling fear creeps all over me causing me to feel deathly afraid. But I know I can’t let fear rule my life and perhaps this is my opportunity to be brave and bigger than fear. So as long as you’re brave too I’ll come with you on this adventure.”

Little did I know what I was getting into. Thinking back it was as if Mr T's cone was a beacon of bad things about to happen. In hindsight I should’ve, would’ve, could’ve worn the cone as “the cone of silence.” By staying silent about overcoming my fear I should've gone back home for my mid-morning snack nap.

But you know what they say about should’ve, would’ve, could’ve! It was too late I was on my way to conquer my fears with a tuxedo-cone-wearing cat leading the way. Would we return? Troubled or triumphant?

Yours in thank goodness I ate friskies for breakfast Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo meets a cat wearing a cone

The other day I was still thinking about how my bowtie was upstaged by a permanent tuxedo wearing cat oddly named after his clothing of choice. Mr Tuxedo did the sneaky on me by asking Miss Tilly to be his Valentine and she of course said yes! Her saying yes has everything to do with me meeting a very large loveable Kunekune pig.

To cut a long story short, Miss Tilly isn’t very happy with me just because I asked the pig to be my Valentine and in fact she’s quite grumpy. I guess it’s my fault and if I was in her paws I’d be a little miffed too. But it was all done in the hysteria of me meeting a pig for the first time. Just in case you missed it  click here to follow the story!

To be truthful I didn’t know if I was more upset with Mr Tuxedo for upstaging my bowtie or for offering a Valentine’s Day heart to Miss Tilly. In all honesty I think it’s the bowtie that upset me the most. You see it took me a whole truck load of courage to make the decision to wear the said item then a whole boat load of bravery to wear it out in public.

I guess the moral of that paragraph is if you can’t wear anything with ease just don’t wear it. You know what? I’ve just made myself a new rule not to wear anything that makes feel so uncomfortable. Darn it does that mean I’ll never be able to wear that beret I’ve got my eye on?

Tick tock Valentine’s Day was almost a week ago and its time for me to let go of the Valentine monster that had one green eye on Mr Tuxedo. There was no point in me being upset with either Mr T or Miss T. You see in one of my nine past lives I learnt a valuable lesson “it’s not healthy to hold onto the past, learn from it but move on and look forward to today, tomorrow and a bright future.” So with this in mind I put one paw in front of the other and took myself off for a “move on” walk.

While out ambling along I was surprised to bump into a very fashion forward looking Mr Tuxedo he was sporting a very elegant “Elizabethan Collar”, named after ruffs worn in Elizabethan times. D-o-gs must wear them too, ruff!

Fantastically large it looked like an inverted hat sitting at the base of the neck and reaching up in a cone shape towards the head and ears. I was impressed.

Brushing aside my Valentine’s woes I said “Wow Mr Tuxedo you look so distinguished in your tuxedo accessorised by your cone shaped collar.”

Speaking like he was in an echo chamber he replied “why thank you Minnie Moo, I paid a visit to the really brainy Vet-er-in-arian animal peeps as I had something bothering me on top of my head. Well turns out I needed quick surgery to remove the problem. It didn’t hurt one bit but I’m under vets orders to wear this outfit to stop myself scratching and irritating my sore spot.”

“Oh, I said. I thought it was the latest fashion from the cat-walk.”

“Ha, ha Minnie Moo, I wish, I wish and to tell you the truth it's quite annoying to wear and took me a while to get used to but don’t you worry it’s short enough for me to still eat plenty of friskies!”

So to all the collar wearing cats in the universe I hope they're not making you too grumpy. Get better as soon you'll be collar free and happy again!

Yours in thank goodness my friskies aren’t Elizabethan Minnie Moo

Minnie Moo Pig vs Cat

The question burning brightly on my brain was what do I do the day after Valentines day? Do I actually have to do anything? Could I just get away with lazing around or should I go out there and make myself useful?

Well I thought, hmm I don't think it's in my DNA to "go out there and make myself useful" I mean I'm a cat I can hardly hold a shovel and do some gardening. Thinking about this further I reasoned well I could go out and dig up the garden, but then I'd get dirt on my paws. That's the end of that idea.

Maybe I could go back and visit Ms KuneKune Pig and roll around in the mud and eat scraps? But thinking there's a theme here, I'd probably get dirt on or under my paws and I don't do dirt under my paws so that's another idea destined for the scrap heap.

What if I went across the street to ask Miss Tilly about her Valentines Day? Thinking again, well this could lead to a sticky situation for me given I did choose a pig over her, a beautiful cat to be my Valentine. Sensing trouble this idea got hurled out the window.

Ah well it looks like lazing around is the best idea. At least I can truthfully say to M "look I had these great ideas of things to do but then that age old problem of having loads of excuses got in the way."

Little did I know that M had accidentally left the bedroom outside door open, now we know in my house this is a no-no coz all the cats think its an open home and just waltz on in like they own the place. So there I was doing what I said I'd do, lazing around upstairs on the carpet when I saw Miss Tilly fly into the lounge and duck for cover under the couch. 

Not knowing what was up I was thinking wow we may have shared lunch together but really Miss Tilly it's unlike you barge in like this, "Good Morning Miss Tilly, this is a surprise visit, can I help you with anything?"

No response. Taking a closer look boy I could tell she was fuming! I could see big puffs of steam coming out her ears, "I don't understand you Minnie Moo, I read your blog, how could you choose Ms KuneKune pig over me to be your Valentines?" 

Oh shoot, there was no way I was going to get out of this awkwardness. I had to dig deep. Having learnt diplomatic skills from the Politicians on the telly I stumbled ever-so-slightly as I said, "Look I was just so excited to have met my first-ever Kunekune pig. I got so caught up in the moment of how massive and deliciously lazy she was it was like she didn't have a care in the world. Then I thought just because I'm a cat doesn't mean I can't a pig to be my Valentine, and well the rest is history."

"Plus if you read my blog you'd know I wrote I think she said yes. She didn't actually say yes." I went on to add "Valentines Day is just one day a year it's how you act every other day that counts too." 

Was she still boiling mad? Judging by the smaller plumes of steam coming out her ears I thought phew she's not so steamy. "Ok I get it, you were quite star-struck by Ms Kunekune pig and wanted to capture a unique moment but just so you I'm a teeny tiny bit broken hearted and I thought it best I tell you Mr Tuxedo from across the road and round the corner asked me to be his Valentine and I said yes."

On that note she slunk out from under the couch bolted down the stairs and darted out the door. I gave chase but stopped soon after as I realised it was the green-eyed monster who was chasing not me, Minnie Moo.

After such a great lunch at the Pussy Foot Inn and dressed up all fancy in my bow tie I should have seized the occasion and asked Miss Tilly then and there to be my Valentine but no, now my bow tie's been upstaged by a Tuxedo. And I couldn't help but notice, was that steam coming out my ears?

Yours in friskies Minnie Moo