A few days ago I talked a little about the sneaky tuxedo wearing cat who would always casually wander over to my place and then make a move on my Friskies. It was like his life-long wish was to munch his way through my favourite food group.
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| Now who's Friskies can I eat? |
Regular like a Swiss clock with one of those charming (scratch that pesky) cuckoo birds Mr Tuxedo would arrive on my doorstep (note my not M's) slowly sit down before hitting a low lying crouch position ready to slink his way over to my bowl. I think he thought he was invisible but believe you me it's hard not to see a cat in a tuxedo, black and white with I'm so guilty look all over his face!
After looking right then left, then left and right again, his eyes would do another quick scan of he area to make sure no one was looking when the coast was clear (or so he thought) he'd "slink" his way over to my bowl. Eyes always on the prize.
Little did Mr Tuxedo know that in one of my other lives (if I remember it was number 4) I trained as a "Guard of the Friskies" and still have my uniform, sorry no photos to prove it, I tried my uniform on but either its shrunk or I've grown. Wider. Plus I have a certificate that I've stored in a safe place for safe keeping, that's code for, I don't know where it is, could be anywhere.
Anyway as Mr Tuxedo was slinking his way to my bowl I was planning my moves from my secret hide-y place. I did a little two step shuffle, followed by a shimmy, a triple cha-cha-cha and a quick-ball-change before Mr Tuxedo knew it I'd performed my best dance moves and was blocking his direct pathway.
Staring him squarely in the eyes I said in a very polite and cultivated voice "Hello, I see you meet our minimum dress requirement and your tuxedo is most becoming however as this is a private dinner party (for one I might add!) may I see your invitation please?" and Mr Tuxedo would reply "Good evening sir, it appears that I've forgotten my invitation, I'll just head home to get it." Slinking back into the night he would never return with his required invite but sure as the cat jumps over the moon, the next evening on the dot at 8pm Mr Tuxedo would be back on the door step and try again but as you've guessed he'd never remember that magic piece of paper, his invitation.
As you know our cat universe has a very complex set of rules written down in ancient big books and in beautiful paw-writing.
Rule #1 is "what's yours is definitely mine" but I've secretly changed the rule and in my world it now reads "what's mine is definitely not yours and don't even think about eating my Friskies!"
Anyway as Mr Tuxedo was slinking his way to my bowl I was planning my moves from my secret hide-y place. I did a little two step shuffle, followed by a shimmy, a triple cha-cha-cha and a quick-ball-change before Mr Tuxedo knew it I'd performed my best dance moves and was blocking his direct pathway.
Staring him squarely in the eyes I said in a very polite and cultivated voice "Hello, I see you meet our minimum dress requirement and your tuxedo is most becoming however as this is a private dinner party (for one I might add!) may I see your invitation please?" and Mr Tuxedo would reply "Good evening sir, it appears that I've forgotten my invitation, I'll just head home to get it." Slinking back into the night he would never return with his required invite but sure as the cat jumps over the moon, the next evening on the dot at 8pm Mr Tuxedo would be back on the door step and try again but as you've guessed he'd never remember that magic piece of paper, his invitation.
As you know our cat universe has a very complex set of rules written down in ancient big books and in beautiful paw-writing.
Rule #1 is "what's yours is definitely mine" but I've secretly changed the rule and in my world it now reads "what's mine is definitely not yours and don't even think about eating my Friskies!"
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